✲Adventures of Casey Chan!✲

Repercussion?

2012-01-26T02:45:00.000-08:00

During the time laspe between my last blog post and this one, a series of events happened throughout the course of my time in Adelaide to somehow form the person I am now. I used to think, how lonely I am and basically whinge all the while. Somehow when I discovered exercise and keeping fit and being happy, everything changed. I realised that life is pretty simple if you break it down to a series of different levels in while you operate but then it will make me sound like some kind of mechanical girl/woman. Oh, and did I mention I'm caught between the stage of not a girl but not yet a woman?

whoops! I'm pretty sure everyone goes through this stage :3

I've also come to realise how and what kind of person I've become. I used to think I should be nice to everybody, and yes I still am BUT I choose to be nice to people whom I care about and those who I deem to deserve it. I have ultimately doomed myself to something called subconscious judgement through a laspe of time. Sort of a test which people usually go through in different levels. Now, if you're my friend and you're reading this you're probably wondering "wtf Casey, I thought I am your friend!"

So first off, everybody has their own definition of 'friend'. Mine is very simple. Someone whom I talk to- at least once a year and still bother to keep in contact or bother to look at your facebook profile and ask others how you doing, then rest assured that I still do treat you as a friend. That is from my side, and what I expect from you is to at least say hi or be sure to remind me that you still exists. I know this sounds pretty weird and some might say 'well, you should do it if you want me to be your friend'. Well, I was at that stage and I got trampled pretty badly and throughly shaped me to what I am today.

I want to have 30 friends whom I talk to and bother to keep in contact as I am growing up and I know I can trust and have fun as well as lend a hand to if you guys need help rather than have 500 friends I barely know. It may sound pretty cynical and downright self rightous but really, it depends on the person and this is who I am. I want to and always will keep those I call friends close to me.

But aside from that, I have just survived almost 3 weeks in Malaysia and I am sad to say I am coping not very well. I had a heated debate with a friend (mostly ramblings on my side complaining about Malaysians in particular eventhough I am one) but really sometimes the grass is really greener on the other side but unfortunately your roots are on this side. I am not saying I hate Malaysia but currently I am just so unhappy. It's so hard when you feel powerless to change the world or even less, your life. I want to do something

but I don't know how. Maybe it's not the time to think about it now.

While jogging today, I realised how beatiful Malaysia can be if we all had a mission for an environment. In lake garden (better known as taman tasik perdana) I only realised how awesome if everyone could enjoy walking more instead of driving and if we had more trees around. I also wish Malaysian newspapers would stop publishing politics because it is very very embarassing to read about our leaders trying to accuse each other rather than doing their job by doing something about dysfunctional street lamps and having more bandaraya car towers around to enforce the law.

I also wish people would be more honest and civilised. I am direct about what I need to be when I have to be and when I'm not, I either keep it to myself or say it with a small amount of concern. It's hard to receive criticism but really if there is a valid reason then why should you not listen to it with an open mind? There's always room for improvement.

But anyway, it's Chinese New years and it's been getting worse year by year. But this year it has been more on the family bonding kind of feeling. :)

Another one goes to the dust.

2011-06-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

Hello, it's been a long time since I've last blogged. Things have been pretty hectic lately, with exams going on at the moment and some other stuffs. Going into bouts of depression at night where there is NO ONE I could talk to (the ones I can talk to anyway) which further makes things worse sometime. Everything just starts falling apart for me and I don't know why. Studies is going well, everything is going well but I just find myself staring off into the wall.

I miss my best friend.

I miss the shopping call.
I miss just having someone that I'm not afraid to talk to that wouldn't judge me.
I wish I could trust someone as easily as I can
I wish I didn't care so much because it just hurts me in the end anyway.

I learnt that not everyone can accept the truth, but for me I believe that no matter what happenes it's still gonna shit in your face in the end anyway so why not have someone who cares to play the evil one to tell it to you so you can do something about it rather than living happily in obliviousness. I learnt that someimtes being a good friend also means that you're being nosy. It's so hard to care.

I don't like being lied to, and neither do I like to lie. I want to be honest but I'm afraid to hurt anyone. See the problem?

I just feel like whatever I'm doing at the moment is just wrong. Anything I do just srcews up in some way. I just want to shut up, go to a corner and just be myself for an hour with my teddy bear because he just be these for me. Must be those depressing period where everything just sucks.

Being alone is easier lol not caring so much is easier as well. Can't wait for the holidays to come. I think the exams are messing with me. either that or I'm just PMSing I think coz all my pimples are coming out. God I just hate those emo depressing times.

Am I a bitch?

100th post

2011-05-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

I finally reached my 100th post in my entire blogging years and this post is dedicated to all those awesome peeps in Adelaide. I'm 3536.5miles away from home, and from my family, without you guys I will surely breakdown somewhere down the road.

Life's been but a breeze, I can'r believe it's already been close to 3 months since I'm away from everyone in Malaysia. It can get a lil bit lonely but my lovely housemates Maria and Sharah does fill up that gap pretty well. :)

I've been to pub crawls, gotten smashed but not dead and had emotional roller colsters running but that's quite normal even at home. I thought of writting more for my 100th post but I'm sooo lazy hahaha I've been putting off writing my blog for quite some time as you guys have noticed. :3

I told Sharah today, "I wish I was a born chef, coming out from my mother's womb with a spatula in one hand and a pot on the other with a chef hat on my head so that I don't have to be a slave" I like cooking but washing the dishes is just soooooooo boring... and the sink is not BIG enough and the freaking tap's on the verge of breaking itself because a bloody screw's loose.

I wanna find a job soon but I'm still waiting for that TFN and I need to write a resume and there's just so many stuffs to do which is pretty much such a drag.. A lil bit overwhelmed with assignments (it's weeks away) but seeing the calendar just makes my life bloody harder I'd reckon.. It doesn't help when the lecturers keep reminding you about it..

Just recently everyones been talking about semester breaks and shits like that but the first thing that pops into my mind from semester break is Exam. LOL An exam which I haven't study for yet... And I have to worry about screwing my GPA up and shits like that but how can I help myself? I mean, I am doing a second year topic in my first semester of UNI but I think I'm faring okay atm.. >.> I guess.. LOL

I wanna go to harbor town, victor harbor, kayaking, hahndolf, strawberry picking and lots of other places. :3 OH And Barossa as well <3 so many places to go but no one to take me gooo aiggsss SOMEONE BRING ME GOOO!!

Asides from that, it's getting bloody cold down here in Adelaide, it's autumn now and the tress are turning orange (which I find really pretty) and I just really love it here now.. though the millipedes are pretty brave here and the spiders as well.

I guess that's pretty much what I'm doing at the moment aside from writing this out I guess. :) There's just too many things to write and to update my life. Wish I had a really good camera so I can capture those moments <3

One more to go!

2011-03-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

HA! I broke my record. First time making 2 movie reviews in a row (post wise) So tonight I watched RANGO~

Honestly the movie had some funny parts but in the middle it was a little bit boring.. Johnny Depp's voice was awesome haha!

I felt a little paranoid throughout the whole movie coz it was about rats and moles and water and insects and to be truthful I was like hmm.. nothing to be scared about here.. then zomg BANG Out of nowhere that chameleon just snapped a dragonfly and I was like "KYA WTF DRAGONFLY DRAGONFLY" I swear I will never live down the dragonfly movie incident... you know who you are.. it was embarrassing damn!

Rating: 3.5/5
It was alright, had some aww moments, some funny and awkward moments..Not suitable if you're a logical person haha! I'm a logic person so when I watched the movie I was like "hey.. isn't he suppose to eat this and that it doesn't make much sense" so I gave up thinking XP

This part was one of my fav scenes in the movie :)

Movies Monday!!

2011-03-14T22:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I sacrificed my study day to watch two movies, the adjustment bureau ~ and I am number 4 ^___^
And yes, the first movie review of the year on my blog :) I realized every year I would have at least one movie review :D Well, it's like an annual thing but yea. On to the movies :)

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU

Plot wise: Very interesting, I would not rate it as inception originality but it has a

nice conceptual ring to it.

Dialogs and script: Had a few humorous and funny shots but mostly cheesy and

can be a bit clinch

Logic sense wise: It wasn't that bad, not to my taste but some might call it alright.

Overall: The movie was good, but not all the great. (My great=avatar/inception)

I AM NUMBER FOUR

Plot wise: Okaay bias wise I wanted to watch this because it had Malaysia in it. XP nah jk hahaha

plot was alright, lots of visual effects and all but story wise is still the same old almost generic thing..

it's just that it's slightly better put so I didn't sleep through the movie. It did has some perks on visual effects and the benefit of surprise (I screamed at one part coz I didn't expect hahahaa)

Dialogs and script: ALSO cheesy romance sense.. a bit dumb high school drama, teenager who's rebellious and talented and blablabla but also did have some humour in it so it wasn't that bad. Action wise it was not very well done but not all that bad either (I can say it was alright for a 7$ movie)

Logic sense wise: It was alright, didn't really like the girl and how everything went bang yet not logically fully explains his being and such as the motive of a bad guy and all (I don't see a sequel coming up so this should be quite crucial...)

erall: The movie was good, but not all the great. I was a bit disappointed that the move didn't go on to introduce other numbers than number 6.. (My great=avatar/inception)

And so please note that this is entirely opinion based so watching the move is entirely up to you :) cheers!

>>>HaOZh3<<< Lif3 With Miracles: Pray for the world..

2011-03-12T15:15:00.000-08:00

>>>HaOZh3<<< Lif3 With Miracles: Pray for the world..: "Pray for the world.."

My heart reaches out for those in Japan, China and the rest of the world. Let us all hope and aid as much as we can for them to get through the earthquake, nuclear catastrophe and tsunami.

I wish I could help them but I'm stuck here in Adelaide

Fried Rice being vegetarian and massive

2011-03-12T01:30:00.000-08:00

THE TITLE SPEAKS IT ALL

hahahaha

This morning I went to Chinatown again with Sharah, and I bought enough veggies to last me the week! The carrots were so freaking gigantic omg they were like the size of my lower arm! (the one that connects your elbow and your hand I think it's called arm? dunno hahaha) So I only bought 3 but hahaha it can last me the entireee week gosh!

And I had a nice talk with the chinese lady at CN town who taught me how to make soup~ she was like ahhh I use 3 chickens for 1 bowl of soup and I was like o.o....!

hahhaa too much water so I added other stuffs.. I turned out well though ;D I didn't study today though.. very tired :( but I guess I'm gonna study tomorrow and monday XD Monday's a public holiday but I guess everyone will have to crash over at some of my work shops soon D: It's gonna be hell god dammit >~< susah betull

Then Sharah bought lots of veggies and she chopped em all up and had a large massacre.. the kitchen looked like a tornado went through it and well, we vacuumed the kitchen TWICE.

April came over and we had the fried rice but sadly... WE STILL COULDN'T FINISH IT OMG O.O

A new life?

2011-03-02T03:03:00.000-08:00

Well not in particular. What I've realised for about the umpteenth time this week is that Adelaide is quite a small city and the weather is really such a drama queen. For the very first time in my life and following more for the next 3 years probably I would be checking the weather everyday to see if it's going to rain of it's going to be so hot that I would sweat my pants off.

Unfortunately for me, right now owuld most probably be more complaints because I'm sitting in the law section of the library with nothing to do while waiting for my classes to start at 3pm... Richard's sitting beside me reading chinese coming which to me looks like lines and angles all over again. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be able to read in Chinese but unfortunatley I am not trained to do so from the early age of my life. >:(

But then again I would love to learn other languages such as french and japanese <3 that way I would be able to enjoy

SO.MUCH.YAOI.STUFF.

Oh wells. Back on topic. So aside from the weather, Uni life has been alright, my two housemates are awesome (maria and sharah) They really take care of me even at the event when I was wasted from the amount of alcohol intake. I still remember when I drank alcohol, I was so out, that maria made me black coffee and I just downed it down like it was nothing and that really sobered me up. hahahaha Richard turned to me and asked me "where do you live.. I need to walk you home" and while I am sober at that moment I turned and look at Sharah and we both shared the same thoughts hahaha Cause I was actually sitting in my own kitchen and my 'house' was 5 steps away unless he meant my Malaysian home TEEHEE

So yea I've been consuming more alcohol that I;ve ever did for the pass 3 years in a row and I also went beaching which was pretty awesome if you ask me~ First time wearing a bikini it was a bit scary because I'm so self conscious... but it went well though.. then I was in the sun and water for like 3 hours.. when I got out and look in the mirror I was like WTF There goes the money my mom spent on trying to make me 'whiter' hahahaha Now I look almost like a burnt Chinese

However the good thing is that now that I'm burnt, my scars on my arms are barely visible and maybe my confidence on showing more skin has increased since I actually walked around the city in a tank top (something that I will never ever ever do in Malaysia) I took lots of photos too with Maria!

I went to China town the other day and bought this butcher knife.. Since the knives at my place is shit case.. and there wasn't any sharpener for knives that was working properly so I thought that investing 6 bucks on that knife was worth it.. :P

I'm slowly getting used to the prices here in Australia but when I buy stuffs that they're above 15 dollars I find it extremely painful for myself and I don't know why. :( But it's damn pain ahhahaa I'll probably try to get more meat from the market... since meat lasts longer frozen anyway. I'm gonna eat rice everydaaaayyy XD

So that's updates for now.. I'm sorry for the long silence though.. I've been reallyyy busy these days settling in :) I'm trying to make new friends now :D

University

2011-02-07T01:55:00.000-08:00

So yea, I'm leaving for Australia on the 11th and would reach adelaide on the 12th... I've always thought going overseas would be much... less.. complex.. than this. I mean it might be because of the short notice and all... I was actually planning to enroll for the july intake but in the end I was actually eligible and feb intake were still open so yea I ended up enrolling for feb on such short notice.. It was amazing how I manage to get everything together.

First off, starting from the day I had to hand in the bank draft. It was.. hectic. I took the draft and my mom called to tell me she gave me the wrong copy. So I drove back. Then when I reached college AGAIN, Ms Jeanetta told me the bank draft was registered to the wrong NAME. FML So I went home again, drove my mom to the bank in petaling, then we couldn't do anything so we drove all the way to shah alam.. got it done by 4.15 and drove back to college. FMLL Wow.. that was one hell of a day I tell you.

So then stage 1 is done. I got my COE the day after and applied for my visa. Amazingly the visa part was the easier.. even the air tickets were waaaay harder. asdhkfj! Maybank was giving me hell and I had to do so much things to activate my card online and seriously like come on.. then so I got my flight tickets sorted out..

And right up until now the one left is..

ACCOMMODATION.

Like seriously.. I thought the australians would be much more efficient than out Malaysian style "i'll get back to you" and I'm reaching on the 12th and yet I stil have not yet receive a word. I am so freaking worried now.. *sigh* Accommodation is SUCH.AN.ASS

Wish

2011-01-15T03:53:00.000-08:00

I really really really want...

A nikon DSLR D5000 That comes with a manual book lol

and iTouch4 with camera <3

2011-01-14T21:30:00.001-08:00

A brief update of my life, currently I am rotting like nobody's business at home playing online MMORPGs (Rohan online) :)

And I couldn't stand the boredoom anymore so I went to college and decided on my university. Yesterday I had all paperworks done so now I'm waiting for the letter of acceptance to reach me so I can do all the procedures and not to mention renew my IC and passport lolz :P

So my first choice is Flinders, if I can't go to flinders I would most likely end up in UniSA ^^

It's 2011~!

2010-12-31T22:08:00.000-08:00

Yes, It's 2011, a whole new year and thus this is one of those time where everyone starts to take out their paper and pencils or keyboards and monitors at this generation but nevertheless they would all be sitting down or daydreaming about their new years resolution. And me, sadly to say I have none this year. I don't even know why besides maybe my short term goal would be getting into university first and all but besides that I would sit and rot at home seeing how failed my yoga turned out to be (HEY, I went for a few classes okaaay) But I think reciprocating this would be that I would be working. And thus instead of spending more money, I would be working instead.

A few days ago I've just had a parking summons from DBKL and I wasn't really joking about bombing DBKL but then again that would make me sound like some psychotic 'P' driver and soon ISA will come looking for me saying that I posted on my blog about DBKL bombings and that I'm a national terrorist from China or something then all newspapers would be writing about my life and whatsoever but whatever I shall change my topic back onto 2011.

So this year I would be flying off to either USA or Australia now... but Australia there's this very important thing, that if the Australian uni accepts me then I have no choice but to go there to give my mom a piece of mind but I would really love to go to USA though because it seems fun and exciting and has educational benefits. So right now I should be preparing for my SAT to get accepted into the uni and all.. omg the amount of paperwork.. Why is it so troublesome? My first choice would be Michigan university but then it's quite prestigious and all I'm just afraid that it'll end up like Oxford or Harvard where there's one assistant professor lecturing then you're on your own buddy. I would much prefer the classroom method of one teacher to a maximum of 20 students. It would be much better in the sense that everyone would know everyone and it's easier to share opinions and gain a holistic approach to the entire perspective of the holistic education approach.

Other than that I should be drafting some sort of expenditure reference and all when I go to US or Australia so Imma go do that now.

Oh, and I spent the new years at home again this year. What a drag.. I slept at 3am yesterday FML

:D

2010-12-20T03:23:00.000-08:00

And yes, therefore I shall end my whatsoever thoughts about the matter because I am 18 this year, I am NOT a child and I WON'T Resolve to bickering because that's not going to help in anyway. Though I did let off some steam to zhi wen yesterday (that I felt bad for telling those things to her) but I guessed I had a awesome day ruined.

So then while we were on the phone, I started to drift off topic to my attempt to make croquembouche but in the end I woke up at 12pm... I seriously need to sleep early from now on. No more late nights because

1. It is not good for my complexion

2. Not good for health

3. A waste of time. (like seriously.. I could do so much in that 3 hours I slept off :(<)

Then so I started talking about Red Velvet cakes~ And we decided that okay. Tomorrow we go eat macarons and cake.

Which lead to today's adventure of going to Jalan Tun Razak

which..

led to Midvalley in the end because lrt station no parking :(

So we had redvelvet (which weren't very velvety...) cupcakes from coffee bean and went for window shopping. I went into ZARA and almost died. I wished I had $$ to buy at least SOMETHING in there. I really did.. especially the sweater. aiggsss One of those furry sweaters would do me a world of good when I'm in US.

And not to mention I had this nagging feeling that after I complete my degree in business, I would end up in the culinary field. FML NO!! I wanna open my own bakery cafe!! Complete with Macaron, exotic cakes at an affordable price.

Then My next venture would be opening a day night club. During the day it would be a day club which serves delicacies fit for dating, business and relaxing occasions. At night, it would become a Night Club bar for people to meet new people, to lay back and have fun. Hmmm

NO SMOKING

NO DRUGS

JUST AWESOME MUSIC.

Aigs I have so many ideas <3 May be I should be an entrepreneur xD

Humanistic values? I think not!

2010-11-21T23:32:00.000-08:00

I was suppose to update a few days ago but unfortunately I was too lazy yet again. So right now sitting in the college thinking room with barely nothing to do until the next approximately 7 minutes to the horrid moral studies. I've always wondered why the hell would we need moral studies. It's not as if we're going to turn into super saints in this world. Not everyone can be mentally 'corrected' since almost everyone is psychologically bent in some way or another.

So enough about my crap on moral studies and let me tell you what has happened within these few days. As I would still love to tell everyone I'm done with SAM, I'm happily divorced with all the assets from the program so now I'm quite knowledge rich as you would call it. :P

I went out for dinner with Zi Sern last Friday, we went to 1U. xD For the first time in my life I actually did NOT get lost while returning home. But really now, Sometimes I just get so irritated by Malaysian roads. I mean, it's so confusing! The way they position the traffic lights and the arrows and all..

Back to dinner part :p So my plan originally was to go for bbq/steam boat style I went for the last time I went out with lilling and Wesly Methodist peeps xD But I thought the restaurant was called BBQ Palace and I couldn't find any in 1U so I decided to bring Zi Sern to Itallianese instead. But then on the way to Itallienese, I stumbled upon my 'BBQ palace' which is actually called BBQ plaza. :DDD I was SO HAPPY OMG I GOT TO EAT BEEF. (I don't fancy beef usually but I like thinly sliced beef :) )

After that we went walking around and we bumped into Sze Hsuen and her family. (It was quite funny really) She was like "are you dating?" But I skillfully dodged the question with the "Hey did Nurul ask you out for Happy Potter?" xDDDD

I was so bashful. But really now can you blame me? :B I never did expect to bump into her. Just like on Wednesday when I went out with Jianny, we bumped into Chantellie and she was like "are you dating?" arrgh.. The world is sometimes TOO SMALL!! rawr

Then on Saturday I decided to visit dear Zi Sern once again because we absolutely had TOO MUCH food the night before and so it was time for exercise the next morning. And I did went to gym in the morning, did 3 sets (1 set=50 times) of sit ups.. with the machine of course... And step-ups.. I was really out of shape. And then we went out for a movie Megamind. The movie was alright, a little bit predictable if you're someone who likes puzzles like me but overall it was quite enjoyable. :D

I got home, and was so exhausted.. After dinner I literally fainted on my bed at 7pm and stayed that way for the next 3 hours as I woke up around 10.30pm... then after that I stayed up blearily for an hour and the went to bed around 11.30 and woke up Sunday morning at 9.30pm. (Yea I know.. I didn't know I could sleep that long too xD) Then omg.. Sunday was so hot.. I almost died.

So I'm quite lazy to continue my whole Sunday life, just summarizing into a few word prompts.. You'll get the idea. xD

Mum
Driver
Granny's house
car stress with a paranoid parent
Shopping for ingredients
no maple syrup unfortunately
Bought stuffs
went home, made cupcakes

First day of moral studies

2010-11-16T05:08:00.000-08:00

~~I was quite reluctant to go for moral studies today, it was soo wrong..~~ Suddenly it sucks to be march intake. I WANT A BREAK SO BADLY I COULD TASTE ITTTTTT!

~~But unfortunately there's no such thing :<~~

So today Miss Renuka was a nice ~~but a little biit monotonous.. I wanted to fall asleep and kept yawning..~~ Hey, at least the projects were quite funny in the sense that everyone laughed and all.. I learnt today that donating and charity in exam terms means giving teachers a blank paper so that they do not have to mark and save time. Technically speaking means "I'm donating time for you miss! XD"

Then for lunch I went out and eat with Zi Sern in Room 18, honestly he thought layosh had 18 rooms because I was talking about layosh before that. It was so funny ahahaha I tend to change topic so often. XD We waited like 20 mins for the food and yet we finished everything less that the time it took to prepare. :x

I had a craving for wan tan mee since the night before XD

But it was nice la.. I laughed and laughed and laughed.. I tried to drink my ying yong nai cha but every time I looked at sayang I would just blurt into my tea and make bubble sound. So damn farneh la.. Laughed and laughed.. I just don't laugh that often these days.. I used to laugh for no reasons at all. Maybe I just feel lonely or something. I've always felt lonely these days I don't know why...

Continuing to moral studies again then we watched this horrifying video on abortion. I couldn't bear to watch as the scissors cut up the fetus inside the cervix then pull it out by the limbs. It was stomach turning and after that I really almost vomited. So traumatizing.. I couldn't eat much at Sushi King which was a waste because it was Dayana's last day in KUL :<

I'LL MISS HER SO MUCHHHH SAYAAAANGGGGGGG

all the times we had together,

all the thoughts we shared together,

all the papers and papers we shed together,

all the books and modules we raped together,

you were the one who dragged me everywhere,

you were also the one who made me laugh,

made me frown with amusement,

and you were also the one

who made me smile.

After the awesome mean at sushi king, I took Jianny home. I was so funny, we were waiting for lift, then he just went inside then the door closed and we could hear him squeal. So farny XD I was a lil worried though because we were suppose to go to B2. But when we arrived, I peered into the lift and saw the fella in the opposite lift. lucky the door haven close yet xD

Then I send Jianny back home, got lost on the way back and wandered into oncoming road.. I swear Hartamas square roads are designed for head-on crash. I mean, who makes road like that?! So confusing.. And the jam was terrible! I'm so sorry jianny darling but I don't think I'll volunteer to send you home anymore from 5pm-7pm. :P anytime other than that period I should be glad to help though :P *I'm such a wuss for traffic*

Got back home safely at around 6.45, found my awesome packages arrived at my door. I bought a pair of pants and 2 pair of earrings. <3

One of the earrings I bought <3

Whenever I look back at those pictures we took together,

All the laughs we shared together,

My heart does not ache anymore.

I can finally move on and hold my head up high,

Because those memories are a fragment of my life already.

Last exam

2010-11-15T01:52:00.000-08:00

AND FINALLY I'M DONE WITH SAM!! Accounts paper was alright.. It wasn't hard, not was it easy. I was a little bit cultured shock when I saw the marks because it seemed as if this year the examiners planned the paper with theories in mind.. So I crapped a little on the consistency concept because I understood but I don't know how to put it into words :<

*emo*

Well, so now I plan to continue my NANO writing (50k words here I come) and I went to Borders earlier and got 2 books,

I'VE BEEN WAITING TO READ THIS BOOK!

I didn't but it because I was afraid I would not study for my exams if I bought this :<

and I bought my SAT work book ;D I'm really looking froward to furthering my

studies to America!!

And it's freaking thick. Like.. paperbag thick T____T

I wonder if this is worth the money :<

I never did boast that I'M DRIVING NOW! XD

And my old bookmark <3

Something that warms hearts

2010-11-14T03:56:00.000-08:00

Where music joins the love notes

I was browsing facebook in the afternoon and came across this amazing video that really carries a very very meaningful message

See what I mean?

Quote of the day

"there are some songs only you can listen to if you tried hard enough in a silent room from your heart" ♥

Tomorrow is accounting paper and yet I'm here blogging. :( but then again it's liddat la..

I think I'm going to blog more frequently from now on! So expect like updates almost every week if nothing forbids me from doing that :D

And to clear the confusion of some people who like to draw conclusions from pictures,

I HAVE NO BOYFRIEND!

like.. really.. that Bangladesh look a like who's actually Portuguese is NOT my boyfriend and will NEVER be my bf

if I can help it.

and recently many of you think that the 5 year old mentality issue boy toy is my newest beau,

he is NOT my boyfriend. He's my boy toy. Het it right ;DDDD TEEHEE!

Long post much?

2010-11-12T08:08:00.000-08:00

TEE HEEE

I know.. it's been quite some time since I've last updated and so many things have happened in that period. XD One such big event was the ADAM LAMBERT CONCERT I ATTENDED (LOVEEE)

Surprisingly Adam could sing!! I was screaming all the way, having so much fun! But the blond bimbo parked his car so far out near the uni we had to walk so far. :< I will drive myself to the concert next time.. =_____=

So yea now I'm sitting for my SAM finals exam. 4 papers down and last paper accounts. I don't know whether I'm ready for it now.. since I'm so lazy to study.

I WILL STUDY TOMORROW! =*=

I also realized that usually when I write blog, I tend to veer off topic from lfie into my non-existent love life and start bitching philosophical stuffs.. so yea.. I tend to do that often because I like being philosophical and advices and all.. (I actually try to follow my own advice sometimes LOL)

So yea I realised that the year is about to end and unfortunately I would miss a lot of my peeps from college.. Since I'm planning to go US next year to further my studies. It hasn't been confirm yet coz I haven't apply for the universities as I need to sit for my SAT and all.. :<

As such I find myself falling for all the wrong reasons. Before finals math I emo about the wrong things. I

EMOED ABOUT BEING SINGLE.

I sound so desperate. But after that 5 minutes I realized I was emoing about something so insignificant that it doesn't make sense after all.

like seriously!

Then I also realised that I'm going to US next year and that there's no point in having a relationship at this point no matter how much I wish I could so I'm just going to settle for the next best

which is flirting! <3

In this world, I hope there are people who would look into the mirror and see their strengths and weakness, and not entirely on the weakness. I always wonder why people would want to

change when they're fine the way they are.. I will never want to change unless my current

attitude will get me into trouble or something.

6 packs doesn't matter, being thin doesn't matter, being talkative, animated, crazy, jolly, smart, genius

doesn't matter.

As long as you are happy, healthy, good responder, be yourself, do your best and put in effort then everything will be fine! There's no need for glamor unless you do it for your own pleasure

and not to impress people.

I always did believe that beauty lies in the personality.

But not all guys and girls think that way and they always end up

yearning for hot bodies and amazing sex then one day when they're quite old,

they finally realized that there's no point in those things because you're already an

old chicken coot.

It's sad and horrifying

2010-10-01T04:11:00.000-07:00

I wonder when will the right one come along because I always fall for the wrong one.

Today, I nearly died. after math class, some peeps from HH6 decided to "hey let's go eat at banana leaf!" then, so I decided to follow Brandon's car but I was scare shit wei.. the last time I sat his car I had a shock of my life. So today, when we went Brandon actually drove quite safetly.

After the fulling meal.. I could feel my stomach threatening to carve itself out of my belly then it rained. And Imran's car got stuck. Ross was suppose to follow Brandon's car but he stuck by me for god knows what reason then Imran came to pick us up. Frankly at first I wasn't scared of Imran's driving at all. He drove decently so when we reached the traffic light we saw Brandon's car behind us u know.. then Imran lowered his window and pointed out his finger to race. That time me and ross was life wtf...

And they raced. And I almost died. I think half my life went out of my body and my soul disintegrated. It was raining, Imran was driving above 110km/hr, and the floor was wet and I was horrified after Ross told me about some hydro plane where the car lock and can't move and skids... and boy was I scared the shit. Ross screamed in the car.

I will never ride in Imran's car again.

French Masquerade &trial woes

2010-09-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

I've just been through the ordeal of my trials paper the entire weeks last week, I never studied so hard in my entire life, not even for SPM. So I did better in econs this time, at least I think I did and maths wasn't as hard as midterms cuz I was able to do about 95% of the paper. However though psychology went well for everything EXCEPT for the learning chapter unfortunately I've always had a problem with it and as for accounts... omg

BIGGEST FAIL

Though one of the questions were exactly repeated (the cash budget) but then miss hadn't went through that particular question with us so I didn't really know how to do much :'( sadly... But I did my best and put in a lot of sweat on the reporting part though. It was fun doing the report :) I'm a little nervous about tomorrow since I'll be receiving my common test on reporting. I wonder how I did..

So cut teh trials blues part and get on to the masquerade.

After trials I went to the Costume shop with kennet honey and darling jianny. It was damn funny deciding on an outfit for kenken. I practically strangled him with the dinner bows hahahaha!! He was like "who wears double bows???" hahahah! Even the aunty laughed when she helped us..

Then I went home after that and had an hour rest. Honestly it wasn't really enough and I felt fatigued... but the shower woke me up a lil. And to be truthful I was well satisfied with my make up and hair! I spent a lot of time on the hair, my left side of my head braided into loops held by bobby pins while I let my right part of my head loose. I just had simple eye-liner on coz I want people to see my mask and not my eyes hahahaha!

I had so much fun at the masquerade seeing kee en dance the can can dance was funny as all the guys suspenders were falling off 2 minutes into the dance and some dragged lin yao and caezun up on the stage for them to shake their asses! Boy was that epic hahahaha Then it was boring at some parts because some good singers did not want to sing and not very good singers were up on the stage. Though many of the students showed support by clapping but that's about it.. One of the singers Kee En.. zomg HE CAN SING I WAS SO SURPRISED LIKE SERIOUSLY

Then Ross pushed me and kenken to the dance floor and we both danced for the first time, it was reeaaaly fun! Then after that he didn't want to dance any more coz his shoes were killing him so I danced with ross who tried to give me a Spanish down twist but I didn't trust ross coz.. he's really thin and he might drop me so I held back though. My other partners dancing was frankie and lin yao.

Though I enjoyed dancing with kenken the best coz he was the only one who could lead me (I do appreciate men who can lead me ya noe~ not many can do that aside from kendrick) well, actually only kenken and kendric can lead me in dancing for male category. Female category I know there's this girl who really wowed me coz she actually lead me better than guys. like zomg hahaha!

Kenken was my (best) date (ever) for that night and really enjoyed to the max. I had the last dance with my darlin' without out masks on (it was so weird seeing ihm wear contacts) then we left.

last dance

In the middle we had finger food, it wasn't really tasty for the french fries but the cream puffs and the fruit tarts were zhe most AMAZING thing I've EVER tasted for french food. <3 <3 <3 The whole night really was worth my RM15 and renting the gown.

Shaeera 18th

2010-08-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

I know I should be studying for accounts common test tomorrow So I'm gonna make this a quick post so that there's nothing nagging in my mind later :)

On Sunday, it was

SHAEERA'S BIRTHDAY!!

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SHAEERA!!

In the afternoon I was like pming kennet on facebook,

Casey: hihi!
Kennet: hi :)
Casey: what time in college?
Kennet: 4pm meet there, sharp.
Casey: sharp? LOLOLOLOOL
Kennet: I'll be there k?!
Casey: okokok

then I left house at 3.40pm reach there at 3.50pm.

3.59pm

-wait-

4.pm

-wait- (may be my clock was fast)

4.15pm (zhi wen arrives)

-wait-

4.24pm

FINALLY!!

LOLOLOLOLLLL ~~almost 1/2 hour late :P this kenken hahahahaa~~ <3 <3

So then about 5ish I think we all left for shaeera's house..
Drove along selayang road... passed by the ulu ulu forest..
We thought we were lost coz It look like a road going to cameron highlands!
LOL

Then after that we made a U-turn then we found shaeera's house. (thank god) hahahaha

When we reached there the food wasn't ready yet, so we lounged around and cam whored!

Me and Kennet! <3

Shaeera passed us the glass to put water. We were like "where's the water?" LOL

LOLLLL Kenny and HooiNee's ribbon <3 so cute riteeee

When we were playing twister, susu go and poke kennet with the fork in the arse hahaha

OUCH! XD

1st round: Your left leg on red

2nd round: Your right hand on blue

LOLOLLL SEE SHAEERA HAHAHAHA

The game heheeheeeeeee It was my first time playing but BOY WAS IT FUN!!

One of the delicious snacks shaeera's mum prepared for us <3 delicious right~

My photography skill so nice ritee~~

I FINALLY MANAGE TO TAKE A PHOTO WITH THIS DUDE.

FTW!!! GO KENNYYYYY XD

Types of people

2010-08-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

I've always known that there are many types of people in this world and many types of personalities. I try to be careful and sometimes I do slip. I realise that not a lot of people are open minded and are assertive in communicating. I've just encountered first hand today on facebook. Even if the comment meant to be warning the I was insulted. Because the fact that it was something that I don't even meant it at the first place.

Can you imagine,

If I baked strawberry shortcake.

You're allergic to strawberry shortcake.

Everyone like strawberry shortcake.

I take a teaspoon and put in near ur face and tell you "try la"

You think I'll shove it into your mouth knowing you're allergic izzit?

And the best part was you told your mother and then bitch slap me.

It's metaphorical, this is not the real situation.

In short, I feel that if you have a problem with me, discuss it first then we can come to a conclusion. I'm not one to go defensively and go "oh nonono it's your fault". I've been through that phrase and trust me, it's shit hole. There's no need to be hurtful to anyone or be so formal that you sound insulting. A simple request is enough. I would seriously like to sit that person down and put it down straight on the table but unfortunately not everyone can accept it and might even go to drastic measures such as ignoring, deleting 'friendship' online and pretending you never existed. So I will keep it in, keep minimal contact but I can't guarantee I can play nice any more.

Now he will be tasting my wrath.

Life as it is

2010-08-04T20:09:00.000-07:00

Things have been increasingly busy nowadays, everything happens in a blur as time goes on. I could remember how slow time was when I was younger and yet when I'm at this age and I reflect back I felt as if time was cheating on me. Time wasn't slow, I only took it as slow because I had nothing to do. But now when I'm short of time, it seems as if I'm in a high speed vacuum.

Boyfriends come and go but friends are forever.

Ever wonder why some people would pause or even cry when they hear a song? I'll tell you why. It's not that the song is very sad or anything but the emotions that evoke from that tune. The lyrics and the the way everything is composed is like a skeleton of a story. How you form the flesh of the story is your heart, your mind and your imagination but the base is the skeleton. When I listen to songs especially those I like, I would be tempted to dance to the beat or I would stop and ponder about the person I've left behind and those who have left me.

I once had a friend I met in college, I enjoyed his company a lot and he was really nice. However he like to insult me cancer patient =.= and all but I didn't really mind that al in truth. At one point however some misunderstand? happened between us and now he ignores me and I the same. But truthfully I would still very much want to enjoy his company again but I doubt so.. When I was looking out of my class today I saw him standing outside one of the classroom waiting to go in for an exam I wanted to go and wish him good luck.

Sometimes things will not do the way we want to, that's life and I'm fully aware of it. The fact that I cannot get accounts is another life that I'm never meant to be an accountant and I'm grateful (:P)

2010-08-01T05:57:00.000-07:00

Today I was sceptical about dying my hair.. but I went to mid valley then while going about I was SO TEMPTED, I decided to buy the hair dyee <3 and dyed my hair for the first time! I chose Apricot Mocha but I was a little disappointed with the colour though cause it wasn't that bright on my hair but nonetheless at least some people recognize that I dyed my hair hahaha

The crab with her first hair dye hahaha

Inception

2010-07-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

Currently I would rate inception as the best movie for 2010

Nomicated for best movie 2010 by The Orange Crab!

A scene where the van was turning. This scene was seriously cool I was wowing all the way <3

Ahh.. my handsome man.. not Leonardo Di Caprio. It's the guy behind him <3 EYE CANDY!!

AHhhhh dear Robert Fishcers <3 (Cillian Murphy)

The show had lots of eye candy I'll certainly get diabetic hahaha <3 overall the story line was interesting, it managed to arouse my interest although there were parts I was going "Can you speed it up a bit??" The pace was well alright most of the time about 90%. However the ending was a slight disappointment though..

Contentness?

2010-07-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

Content with life?

I think not!

Feeling awful about my midterms I should really start to work hard.. :( I felt so guilty especially econs and psychology paper knowing that I could have shown my full potential but I did not coz I slacked :( So disappointed at myself.. I should start to limit myself to going out withh friends and all already since my midterm would suck.. haihs.. So regret din study properly :(

I feel bad especially for my ESL.. kinda let Miss Azreena down. Im gonna go for consultation hour for my text production. I wonder what went wrong! >x< But knowing myself I would really have to push myself to study :( I would rather be baking or on the net with my fanfics and manga or chatting with my friends and meeting new people instead of being stuck at home with my books. Some more no one to share my studying with T^T sometimes at this time I wished I would have someone who'll give me that one push I need. Motivation or inspiration or something. My mom keeps pushing those stupid things to me

'ah.. those accountants.. nowadays so easy find job arr..' I was like wth.. now u want me be accountant.. last time wan me be dentist.. then doctor then scientist.. I'd rather own a chain of Subways! :D I wanna see my profits grow!

Money

My motto I want to follow>>

Make Money

Make some more money

Make lots more money

make even more money

keep making money

don't stop making money

repeat from step 1

2010-07-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

Updates:

I've always thought I would be able to handle heart break with a strong heart and positive view. I held on to the positive view too much already resulting in further heart shattering woes. I realised that faking and telling yourself you're over him works only awhile until the moment you happen to think of him and wonder what he is doing now that both parties stop contacting each other. I told myself that I am most probably 95%++ over him but now when I could still feel this heart wrenching hurt from the bottom of my chest I could just feel my heart being pulled out. I didn't know whether it was I who was being played and fooled into thinking I had a chance or anything I just feel agitated.

I don't have much relationships but I want and tend to learn a lot and form lots of experience through emotions and life as well. My relationships were mostly mutual based as I was never given the privileged to be courted (and I think I do most the courting hahaha) but now that I got hurt and I'm not over him. I didn't know how hard I fell for that fella until the extent that I fake myself into thinking I'm over him. Even now when I listen to some songs or happen to thought of something it would always lead back to him. (Thank gods my studies doesn't remind me of him) I'm so tempted to block or do anything possible to protect myself from further hurt. But the results when I weighed down were much devastating. I would lose a friend, and it was I who showed interest in the first place maybe but I don't know. All I know is that I want to heal but I'm doing it on my own this time. I tried to listen to my dear zw's words even tried my own advise but why wouldn't I change my thinking?

I was clinging onto some hope that we would still have a chance seeing how the situation went towards but I don't know why but it's hitting a dead wall. I wrote a looonnng note when I was really emo about 2 weeks ago expressing my sadness and I just couldn't stand the "???". It was really irritating and I just wish at the moment there was someone who would give me a hug and tell me it's okay to cry. Unfortunately I came across this quote "nobody is worth your tears, even if there is a person worth crying for, they wouldn't let you shed tears." Then I thought to myself is it worth crying over what I would call something that happened but never happened in the first place? Like coffee spilt on a piece of white cloth then left there to stain then you take it to the washing machine and wash it with clorox but in the end no matter what you do there's nothing in this world to change the fact that coffee has spilt on the cloth before.

That doesn't change anything. Being told that the reason why you are not accepted because he is still not over his ex but then finding out he's with another girl and the fact that he tells you its just a joke but now the joke and reality is blurred I can't do anything but be hurt. I would have much preferred if he rejected me straight out by telling me that he's no interested and treats me as a friend would have been much straight forward than making me suffer so much until now that probably left a scar on my emotion. I would really like to hate that guy but I can't. I don't think I can ever hate him.

I wish I could pretend that nothing had ever happened between us and may be I would still be more of my chirpy self yet again. Now that I'm at this state even I hate myself. So emo.. I don't like. Need to be more happy.

SOMEONE GIVE ME A HUG!

I want someone I could depend on and one who'll catch my tears when they fall

Someone who'll tell me it's okay and encourage me to move on

Someone who'll share my laugh and give me a smile back when I smile at him

Someone who knows that I love hugs and would give me all the hugs I ever wanted :)

Shit. EXERCISE!

2010-07-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm going to make up my mind, forget it, I got hurt and now I'm so gonna stop chasing after things that hurt me. I may not be into drugs but I sure is into things that hurt me. (No, I don't cut myself) So I'm gonna concentrate on living life, living my studies and making myself pretty <3

Today was the first day of exercise.. After college, me and zhi wen went to Tmn Tasik Perdana. Ahh.. the memories.. those TERRIBLE TERRIBLE memories of 'merentas desa'. Dayum! hahahaa but yea so I did 10 mins + of skipping, Zhi Wen gave up halfway and went jogging instead. When i stopped, she got back just in time. So we did some badminton and then at 6pm we packed our stuffs and left. I had a though time finding parking LOL coz I didn't know where the parking was LOLOLOLOLOL

I thought I could give up.

2010-07-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

I thought I could give up when he rejected me. I purposely took everything and put it in a drawer in my brain and closed it nice and tight. Why... why!! It was opened again and now I don't know what to do with the things inside. I can't incinerate it because it is biodegradable. Need to wait for it to decompose. life sucks.. and this thought has been bothering me since yesterday. I was very sad and having thoughts that why is it so difficult?

Having something halfway is harder than not having at all.

It is a good thing that I can concentrate on my studies. Since I've learnt my lesson from my past relationships is that love must be separated from studies. They are two different entities and if mixed together will definitely wreak havoc if steps are not taken with care.

Nonsense

2010-06-25T04:05:00.000-07:00

I wanted to blog a few times before this, but then blogger wasn't giving me the reason to. sigh... either that or my net sucks. Streamyx sucks. I want to change to p1 Wimax! But my brother wouldn't let me :( So imma stuck with slow net D:

My life is now not complicated anymore, moved on again (trying to xD) hahahaha Im gonna stay strong, and wait for ppl to kao me! Honestly.. in 18 years of My life I've never been courted before zzz so surprising right?? Hahahaha but Imma unique person~ therefore I'm so unique that

I AM TEH AWESOMEEE <3 <3

Oh gosh.. seriosuly I've got nothing better to say here in this blog post. I'll probably write longer the next time about the past outing with Donna, Serena, Vivian and wen yee! xD

So bored.

2010-06-13T03:22:00.000-07:00

Now I know, I really no life hahahaha If I not go out means I sit here and rot. But I wan visit friends lo :( Couldn't go out even if I wanted to today =.= I finished my econs work edi and now left ESL.. waiting for Miss Azreena to let me change my outline T______T

Now I know how love life can be so troublesome.. Cannot keep my mind off that guy sigh.. Hopefully college starting monday edi xD Can't wait to see my beloved friends again <3 but sadly cannot spend more time with him and make him fall for me hahahaha (see la so shameless till kao guy) Now sai kai (earth) change edi. Women more aggressive, men more passive. Women go out find bread guy stay at home be househusband hahahaha xD

But then again lor I keep thinking what he doing now.. deng.. cham tak ngo like this..

Change TOPIC!

ok yesterday I was trying to do my econs. then I cannot do so I sms my lecturer Mr. Vedha

Me: Mr Vedha why your question is so hard to comprehend?
Sir: hehehe... just want to make ur life miserable n u remember me always...
Me:Omg Sir!!!!!!!!! You are so evil!!!! I fon't wan to give u crap to mark but you're not making my life easier u know.. How can lender not welcome inflation???
Sir: Mmmmmmmm I forgetla, i got amnesia ready. hahahahahahaha
Me: Sir you dun bluff!!! Can give me a small tip? I don't comprehend the question. Or would you rather I tell you my suggestion then guide me?
Sir: That the reason i gave u all the question so tat see how u comprehend the q.... My dear
Me: Oh.. So you don't mind me writing my mind? xD
Sir: As long as u answer the q n make sense ok, pls don't give me crap ok, u discuss with your classmates la...

So much for getting info *dies*

Crayzeh

2010-06-11T23:09:00.000-07:00

The holidays pass by so fast.. I don't know whether should I believe in summer love a not HAHAHAHAHHAA LOL! But yeah, one week sure passes by quickly.. I won't be able to sleep late or spend more time chatting anymore :(

College life's fun but sometimes I wish there were days we are let off for no reason xD I do miss my friends and lecturers

*especially Mr Vedha*

LOLOLOLOL

and I miss psychology too.. 2 weeks without psycho can really do brain harm. Every time I think of something the re think back on classical conditioning and consensus omg @@

I wonder if I still remember how to do differentiation @@ D:

parfois les choses ne sont pas destinées à être, non peut-il être forcé

2010-06-10T03:08:00.000-07:00

I want to cry, but no tears are coming out.

I want to tell you that it is alright,

But I can't bear to say it out.

I understand that the past shall haunt,

but I pray that the storm will pass,

I want to forget

For it hurts so much

love is something that cannot be forced

nor feelings can be harness in such a short time,

But I do not know what lies ahead in the future

May be we will be together

Or may be we shall walk our separate ways

shadows come and go

but the presence shall always remain

no regrets show

but sadness lingers

I put on a brave face

And a brave heart

but I am still human

and I am still young

I hope that the future will be bright

no matter what will happen.

I will try to forget

and live life as it is

I will forgive you

Because I know I should and I am willing to

So please don't be guilty

because those memories were sweet

except the last bit.

I value your trust, your patience and your honesty

Thank you for everything.

life, love and fate exists in the eyes of Law,

but time does not Wait

and thus we do not know what the past shall catch up like Karma.

SAM semester break.

2010-06-09T02:36:00.000-07:00

So quickly half a year's gone already. Studies are going well, aside from my accounts that's troublesome to me sadly but that's the least of my problems. I tend to be overly emotional when it's almost time for the month again so I'm in a emotional state now but thank god there's no medium for me to vent it so I'm stuck emoing on the bed for no particulat reason and the fact that I'm stuck at home without much going out really sucks.

I miss college man!! Never liked staying at home especially when the TV's always conqured, you get nagged the moment you step down the stiars, you get nagged for not going down and you get nagged for forgetting to wash a cup. FML

Can't wait to watch karate kid and Team A tomorrow! I wonder if it's gonna be my plan tomorrow. I hope I'm able to finish my ESL project and Econs project in time. haihs..

Procrastination is a SIN!

(c) Jing Xuen:

Procrastination is like Masturbating.

First you feel bliss then you realise that you're just doing yourself.

Sad case right?? I noe.. It's like borrowing money from ah long then one day realising u got 1mil debt to pay in 3 days. that time is ass on fire edi.

LAN WEEK

2010-06-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

I always thought LAN would be boring and uneventful but turns out it's kind of fun.. (A LITTLE BIT!) But it's worse than SAM. omygod the stress is killing me. I feel like a patient on a lifesaving unit where my brain is dead.

So uneventful I decided that my agenda this week would be to tease kenny! I just don't know why but he's damn cute la.. So tempted to ask him to be my little bro... then can go and kacau him everyday! xD So today I sat beside him most of the class and disturbed him... omg pityful guy.. I bully him yet I pity him YET I BULLY HIM AGAIN. HE'S TOOO CUTE LA!!

~~(not to mention half a head shorter than me.. I found another victim other than zw xD)~~

Then at the end of the day, coz weng hwang (I think that's his spelling not sure though ><) I decided to play a trick on hwang and replaced my student ID with his when he was hanging his behind his neck. The fella didn't even realise!! xD LOL!! So funnehhhh Then I asked him la

Me: eh hwang, ur student ID is 78222?
H: Yea, why? ur one is 221 ar? then at that time he took a look at his student ID
H: Since when I become a girl?

LOLOL!!! SO FUNNYYYY Then after that my group for LAN we went to the library to do work. Sook Mun look so stressed >< I so scare at thattime.. I did the recipe thingy then let her cont.. She looked like a stressed cat like going to thrash my com anytime edi ><

So I volunteered to do everything. I felt bad lo... coz I was like

me: SM What you don't understand???
SM: I dun understand!
Me: *explains* understand?
SM: *stare at the screen*

WAH THAT TIME i really so scare T^T

So I finished the thing and gib them do the powerpoint slide. (since I dunno how to use PPP07) I'm such a nuuuuubbbbb T_________T

Then thank god finish one thing edi.. Then I left at 5.45pm.. then when go out OMG TRAFFIC JAMMMM I so sian in the car..

and the ar.. under the bridge when after the traffic light I wan to go to the left lane, got incoming car so I let the car pass first then go. Apparently the brainless driver driving a white colour Harrier is blind otherwise go and honk me. I tell u if that fella got the guts to reel down his 80& tinted window I would have shoved my middle finger up his ass hole. Stupid fker no brain dunno how to respect other drivers. I know I 'P' la but u CDL think u very big izzit?? Don't even follow rules I dun even know how he get his license in the first place. Honk is use for emergency not for this kind of shit!

And then horrr I sms ppl but no reply.. that zhi wen.. omg... I felt like tearing my hair out. So boring in the car! So hungry somemore.. Then I jam.. and jamm... and JAM TILL 8.10PM! Reached home liao thank goodness

then I rest and tell zw I'm pissed at her.. and miserably die on my bed.. then I took my shower and went to work.. with the stupid song.. OMG I tell u I hate cutting+mixing songs. Give me headache with thi bloody timing. I was very VERY tempted to stab my laptop or Mr. William my LAN teacher.

but otherwise I'm done for today, mimi didn't come online! D<< *pissed* MIMI COME ONLINE!!! I need u to check the song!!!!! TT_______TT

Stressed...

2010-05-26T01:31:00.000-07:00

So now i'm alone in tcsh 2nd floor quietly studying econs... SUPPOSE to... But in the end i got bored so now i'm happily typing this short post on my itouch which is a nuisance... I wanna have someone to lean on at these times... Growing distant from my friends coz of stress and the need to study... I would not study if i go with my friends unless it's really seriois... Omgzzzz i'm so anti social somtimes even i surprise myself. Sigh... I'm looking at my econs notes in remorse of tomorrow's common test... Scared la... I wan score good grades... Haihz.... I've been slacking off these days dunno for what reason wth

Seriously need to buckle up and get back into muly pants. Semester 1 will be over soon...

Oh gosh

2010-05-23T04:47:00.000-07:00

I love SAM, but it's getting hectic >< Or maybe because I'm procrastinating >< LOL!! But yea getting hectic nows. I've got a common test on math this tuesday and I have to pass up my psychology report and on thursday I have an econs test... If I was in high school, this things wouldn't bother me but since I actually study this year so I find it a little hectic and all..

And my lovelife is in the dumps... I don't like anyone atm... I know I know the post below was like a week ago? But yea :) I don't like anyone more than platonic love atm. ;) I want to be romanced dammit!! It'll be nice if a guy comes up to me and ask me out for lunch :) even if just lunch at least have someone to interact with xD

The first time I went out to lunch one on one with a guy is Shen Jian xDD I had fun talking to him xDDD Guys are fun to talk to when they're talking other things than games (than I can't relate to) or obscene words. xD

Ask me out to lunch!! I'm always free ;)

Liking someone

2010-05-11T06:18:00.000-07:00

Yea I know I just broke up not long ago but I've already moved on. So now I like this guy but that stuid moron I tell u..

He's really charming and nice but can be really silly and childish at times. (Those of you who know who he is, shhhh!) But I don't want to get into a relationship man... nx year I'll most likely be leaving for another country to further my studies and that fella happens to be in A lvls. (DAMN!)

I might want to go to New Zealand dammit D:

REPLY MY SMS YOU MORON! DAMMIT!!!

RAWR!

I want a strong man who can lead me and not the other way round.

I want a guy who can give me a safe feeling and a warm hug and a cheerful smile

I want a guy who can understand me and at least give me some space when I need it

I need a guy, who will love me for who I am

Taylors Day

2010-04-26T06:02:00.000-07:00

So today was Taylors got talent, and I can see everyone bringing their instruments to school.. violin, guitars, keyboards...

(I WANT A KEYBOARD!!)

So then when class HH6 was at classroom 2.06, the classroom was fully walled but we were able to hear some guitar playing nx door.. It was really nice and hearing Kenneth and his friend play on a video on his page ignited my passion for guitar again.. so tomorrow i'm gonna get the accoustic strings.. because my guitar

~~PHAIL!~~

hahah So I got to learn back everything.. and when I'm almost there I shall play break away and some songs in college!

Who's with me? >3

Adam Lambert fever

2010-04-23T05:28:00.000-07:00

omg thanks to Zhi Wen I'm AL crazy! D: He damn hot wei.. in his mv "for your entertainment" when he wiggle his eyebrows, my eyes went @@ LOL!! His songs are damn nice!! I recommend listening to it if you're an open minded person :)

College

2010-04-21T05:05:00.000-07:00

It's been quite sometime since I've last posted.. and I was all emo and all, So college started and I made lots of new friendssssss

ALL MY CLASSMATESSSSS

I LURVE YOU HH6!!!

~~Even my funny daddy ross xDDDDDD~~

If I knew how tiring SAM was I would have taken the January intake.. but oh wells.. train myself to work harder towards the future. Mr. Vedha is extreamly funny and I love Ms Pravin! Ms Alicia is always fun but then I sometimes dun really get accounts hahahahhaa ^^; Econs is my most fav subject because it is damn funny every time and I just dunno why la xD Econs a lil tough with all the laws and applications and all but it's still fun xD

And I broke up with Lin Yao yesterday, I'm sure all of you are asking why?! What happened?!!! Yes, I know we're very close to each other but somehow along the way something went wrong (well, with me of course xD) So I don't really want to disclose any information because it is very like.. how to say.. it's like very mean lor.. coz my opinions onli ma.. and his belongs to his, but I'm okay and I feel more carefree and relieved now. :D

~~I feel real bad for breaking up >< (For being the evil witch D:)~~

And so, I will continue to update my life here, over and out for now :D

As I was lying on the bed...

2010-04-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

So college life started and I'm at Taylors Hartamas, apart from seeing familiar faces I also met quite a number of people there.

But I'm blogging now because I just had a sudden wave of sadness you see... Yea more of love though.. I tried to stop it from happening but it did. So I was on my bed remembering all the things he promised to do.. I know that I shouldn't expect so much and I'm quite accustomed to unfulfilled promises anyways but I really just can't help wondering if I would ever receive a love letter or flowers..

I had my shares crushes and written a number of unsent love letters and fantasizing about receiving flowers but it seems that my dream will always remain unfulfilled. I don't know why I'm writing this instead of telling him, may be I'm afraid to hurt his feelings again by bringing things up then I end up being hurt to again because what is said is not done. May be I just want him to know what I want without being too obvious and all...

Same college and seeing each other everyday is a pain without being able to hold hands due to rules and peer pressure.. And the fact that a forgotten promise might just be more painful than I actually thought.

Things that aren't meant to be.

2010-03-23T01:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you lose something, you only know it's value after that.

I love you,

I care about you,

I miss you,

I'll take you back,

If you'll take me back,

I'll forgive you,

If I forgive myself,

I'll hug you back,

If you'll have me back in your arms,

Even if we can't stay together forever,

But right now all I want is you,

I'm glad we never left each other in the first place.

I love you

I really do :)

I got my first blood test

2010-03-07T06:42:00.001-08:00

A few days ago, my mom insist I take a blood test, and the funny thing was the doctor was trying to unconvince my aunt saying that a girl my age really shouldn't take a blood test because there isn't much things to check.. So in the end my end still ended up stubborn and all So I took a blood test.

And this was how it went:

DOCTOR: Okay now, I need you to grip this torch light
Me: *grips*
Doc: Oh yes yes yes
Me: *grip*
Doc: What a beautiful vein, perfect!! yesh yesh yesh
ME: *Sweat*
Doc: You have such a beautiful vein, so what do you do for sports?
Me: er.... *thinks thinks thinks* Computer games?
Doc: Ah! That must take a lot of energy from you right? *click*
Me: Huh? The bloodtest is done?
Doc: yes. What did you expect?
Me: *may be a little pain and a little ow and all...* ahahaha... *sweat*

So that was how my bloodtest went..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!

2010-02-18T22:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was

HONEY'S BIRTHDAY!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEA LIN YAO!!!

MUACKS MUACKS KISS KISS

On the 17th I went out shopping till 9.30pm and by the time I got back I started baking a cake! (Honey Orange cake) After baking I was quite tired, almost done by 12.30am hahaha then I went to sleep.

I sick oso do cake instead of rest

The Chocolate

My nephew hahaha posing with the chocolate

The poor melted butter

The stupid orange I chose had a thick skin but the juice so little

LIKE SHIT

Knife to chop, peeler to skin and bread knife to skewer, Mittens to shave wahaha

The cake inside the oven

See the cake hahaha.. I had to skewer the top off to make it even D:

and here the base.

Sadly I forgot to take picture of the entire cake. :(

In the morning I woke up at 7 with a weird dream then I continue with the icing. Truth to be told I suck at making icing. :( So sad I dunno how to make sob sob sob Then I called a taxi to my house and made the cab wait for me for half an hour. Actually I told them o come at 9.30 then they came at 9am pulak. Shiat...

So in the end I reach Honey's house and wished everyone Happy CNY and gave neyney a great big kiss and a even huger HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAYY

Then I hung out at his house until 2pm then we went to my house. Actually I wanted to go to the curve but then I was lazy so I decided we just hang out at my house until 4.. but in the end I wanted to try out Margarita so we went to Midvalley and went to ZOOKS! I had my very first Margarita, and I was tipsy.

The funny part was, when I was about to go home, honey was like

H: I'm worried about you leh..

C: I'm fineeee hehehehe

H: No way I'm worried *drags Casey off*

hahaha

Chinese new year eve

2010-02-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, It's been such a fast paced world nowadays... Everything is moving faster by the minute. It's like the world's spinning faster. I could still remember how my childhood days pass. It was so slow and agonizing that I wished I grew up fast, but now I wished the other way round. I miss being treated like a kid, no responsibilities, carefree and happy. No problems and all.. but now everything is changing. I, and every other 18 year old out there, we are venturing into adulthood. Finally being able to drive, and get a job and all.

The other day while I was driving at the range, I kept thinking, 'I don't want to grow up' But I cannot avoid the inevitable. It is against the nature of human beings. We are afraid but we cannot achieve anything if we do not strive forward. So my resolution for this year's Chinese new year is 'Strive ahead' whether in relationship, attitude and well being.

And speaking of Chinese new years, it is sad that every year, CNY seems to be duller by the year. I remember being so excited about CNY when I was a kid but now it's just a fragment of memories. It is sad to think of it because we should be keeping the tradition alive. And the Chinese race, it is a shame that they forgot that they are Chinese. Is Christianity a race or religion? The line was blurred in some cases. It is just sad but also inevitable. I'm not saying anything against Christians or anything but a Chinese is always a Chinese. It doesn't matter what the belief is as long as you remember that your roots are of the Chinese race.

And so this year it's CNY again but it's boring and dull today.. "I always wondered what happened to the poker games and all..." So anyways,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!

Hope you see lots of Lion dances!

And do lots of shopping

And get lots of angpau

Sickness

2010-01-26T19:51:00.000-08:00

Oh I'm so miserable.. yesterday I went to Midvalley watched tooth fairy. Then I came home and felt SO TIRED. Then my throat was kiling me.. And I looked in the mirroe and I saw this weird white thing in my throat and I was kinda scared so went to the doctor and got everything check.

I GOT 38C FEVER

but I felt fine.. just tired..

So I got a jab on my butt

Then this morning, like about 3am my thighs (where I got jabbed) was kiling me. I couldn't sleep on that side and the best part was,

I ALWAYS SLEPT ON THAT SIDE

and my nose was killing me, I sneeze so much and I was surprise how I fell asleep after all tha sneezing and tissue and oh yea I finished

3 rolls of tissue paper

wicked right? So this morning I was limping and everyone was like go put some hot water la.. see because you didn't relax when the doctor jabbed you this is what happens.

How can someone relax 100% knowing you're about to be poked by a 1mm thick needle. ._.

Life sucks sometimes..

And I'm so sorry dearest T___T I wasn't in the mood today and you kept calling >< I know you're worried

I <3 you

Sorry for lashing out at you.. but I really felt annoyed.. T^T But I miss you honey sobss come visit me soon :(

Boring day

2010-01-25T03:35:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up with a need to go back to sleep. Last night, I set my alarm to 8am and another at 9am, So the first time it rang, I shut it off, then at 9am it rang again then I was having this dream where my handphone was ringing then I shut it off but if was still ringing so I woke up, snooze it and went back to sleep.

I finally woke up at 9.45am.. practically dragged myself off my bed and went to shower.

I was suppose to go to midvalley to watch a movie but then I changed my mind and stayed home writing my fanfiction.

So oh well, then later in the afternoon my student came over and I taught her until 3.30pm.

After that I practically killed myself over html and the urge to drive myself to vee's house to give her a nice big hug. :D

and today, I really missed him. :(

Want to see you soon honey T^T hope you can make some time for me.. :(((

Shopping

2010-01-24T07:55:00.000-08:00

Today, I went to midvalley with my 5th mom, and omgz... we had a stupid arguement over how different is the society in the 80's and the 21st century. wtf It's more dnagerous this time that during the 80's =.= Then she kept following me everywhere omg that was annoying because I was trying to buy Chinese New Year clothes peacefully.

So I bought a few coats and a red dress :D I can't wait for CNY to come xD Or march to come. All those mouth watering movies... damn My tongue is hanging out already! Here are movies to check out :D

It's 12.20am on a Sunday

2010-01-23T08:25:00.000-08:00

And I'm unable to sleep and my mind is so filled up with nonsense I'm having trouble sleeping. I'm hallucinating about a stupid make believe future that I am gonna suffer in and I really wish I can sleep right now. ._. So god help me I need to snooze.

and in Legion, the guy was awesome. Omgz I think I feel in love with that guy who played Micheal in Legion oh gods he is so H.W.A.T (Heavens we are terrified) he is my no.1 hero after Dr.House. LOL! And Dean and Castiel.

That guy's gonna send me back to ABC with his attitude xD

@e!0u I see you! :D

2010-01-18T06:38:00.000-08:00

Yay! SPM is over and I'm bored over my life...

I started driving class.. I had my first taste of driving a kancil! Boy was it fun at first. Then it started to get stressful because I had to remember the clutch and everything or else the engine might fail D: That's a bad thing to happen when you're on the road. Well, I just had my 2 hours, I'm going again tomorrow, Hope my car doesn't crash xD

So I wanted to work in MV but then I thought again may be not cause I would be started tuition though.. I mean I already started but I', thinking of expending it but I would need to drive :( And so it goes back to driving again! I lost contact with some of my friends whom I WISH I would not want to see again ;D Yeah those of you who read my post which I have deleted it already and return this blog to public since I think pasts should be burned, buried and fade over time. So I hope grave diggers don't shove it in my face once again.

To the form 4's gone form 5 this year, Congratulations you are in our shoes, now you know how we feel about spm so here's payback for the SPM tease phrase. ;PP Let's see, I went to Singapore last week to visit my sis and the first day I had Crab with aunty Geri and Aunty Cecilia :D omgz the crab was DELICIOUS! Crab cooked in milk. I know it sounds weird but the crab was REALLY GIGANTIC but not as big as that delicious King Crab from Hokkaido.. but it was REALLY TASTY!

Then I was there, I was like omgz conversino rate conversion rate so I didn't really had fun shopping and the bad part was I spent quite a lot of money on pedicure and manicure and eye lash perm. Now my eye lashes look like Barbie doll. So after a few days I realise My big toe had puss. It was really painful ><

I was wondering whether I should colour my hair or not then I decided not to since it'll destroy hair quality and all and It'll look unethical to dye gold... and look like a lion. I mean, it's the Tiger year and all but one shouldn't look like a tiger. LOL

And not to mention, A few weeks ago I went to Times Square with him then we saw this guy one side platinum blond and the other black, and he looked EXACTLY LIKE CRUELLA DEVIL. LOL! Talk about childhood horror coming to life.

Then I was playing Granado Espada, it was really nice since you can afk while training but then things happened so I played this game called Wonder King, I know the title sucks but the characters are really cute. You can call it maple story copy but it is better than maple since the skills are fancier and they have bloody annoying cool time and it's NEW! :D There's lots of glitches currently like NPCs flying away when they weren't suppose to move. So I went to the forum and complained and all.. ahahahhaa

I really should go into drawing back again. ._.

Crabby is Cranky

2009-12-18T08:29:00.000-08:00

Whatever happened to you update, then I update? It just popped into my mind. The never ending roller coaster ride of the emotion my damn PMSing body is putting me through. honestly it's been hell today right after tutoring, my emotions just went from good to bad to worse to a 180 degree turn to happy again then I start to cry and then making funny laughs... Shit, it's messing with my brain. So now I'm on my bed, typing this bloody blog at 11.46pm, way past my bedtime anyway. I'm unable to sleep and get my mind of things.. So now I'm going to shoot it all out like a water fountain full of gushing water because I feel like a fish in air since my gills doesn't function in air, like a human drowning in water deprived of oxygen. Well, a human who can't swim anyways. It's just a metaphor. I can swim as well as that 10 year old wadding in the pool mind your thoughts please.

So back to the main story here, I'm tired, my piles of dumplings made out of tissue and mucus yeah it disgust me too so shut up on the floor waiting to be swept up in the morning... I sent a voicemail to my honey, about tomorrow's education fair and yeah.. I hope he can go anyways... I always thought that we can see each other more often after SPM but turns out not really though.. I don't mean we have to meet every day but I just wish we could like see each other 2 times a week? like face to face? not 25 hours in front of the webcam. I tire of sitting in front of the computer doing skyping because I wish for human contact which I lack in my house apparently those older aunties would much prefer to stick their wrinkled faces to the screens on the television broadcasting Taiwanese hokkien shows. I can barely understand mandarin much less Hokkien. May be one day I can even turn my blog into a story book and make myself the laughing stock of the entire civilisation for my childish thoughts and curses.

And so back to topic here, lying on my bed, with the bolster and my feathered stuffed pillow as my cushion, the quilt blanket my 3rd mom sew from scratch of cloths, surprisingly it's quite warming but it needs just another layer or sorts to be just right for a bed right under the nose of an air conditioner running under 16 Celsius. I'm feeling miserable and sleepy and I'm crapping on this blog, my eyes are heavy barely able to sustain the weight of sleep and what the hell, I'm describing myself. My nose itches from Sinus/Rhinitis or whatever I don't know. I only know my nose itches and I'm yawning. Leona Lewis's I see you the theme from Avatar's playing on my iPod speaker repeating for quite some time now. I like that song. It's really nice..

I prepared his Christmas present already, it's sitting at the corner waiting to be given to its owner. I bought ingredients for the goodies I was going to make and give it to him. I wonder, whether I would get anything. It's selfish yeah, but this is my first time after all spending with him.. But It doesn't really matter. Dear Santa, I wish I could have a Teddy bear for Christmas.. and I hope it's a surprise. I don't like picking from stores! I've been a good girl this year and the year before and before and just poke your eyes and pretend you didn't see anything when I'm naughty. Doesn't really matter anyway. I love soft toys. They make good companion when you're alone. They don't judge you or say sorry or anything. Plus they make good punching bag when you're angry or huggable companion when you're sad.

I have Poppi but then I'm so afraid of hugging him more since I'm practically a bleeding machine. I probably lost enough blood to save a leukaemia person over the years. I can see dried blood on Poppi's creamy white cloth which kind of saddens me. His seams are almost bursting open from the constant force of a bear hug enough to choke a person. Then while I was so keen on typing this shit out my brother came and knock the door outside. I could barely hear his muffled voice over the blaring speaker of my iPod. Something about opening door. Damn.. I love him my dear bro but he can be such a bitch sometimes. That's what makes him interesting to tickle and annoy.. Oh and he reset the modem again.. I hope My laptop doesn't crash of my bro's gonna find his head on a spike no matter how much I love him.

Okay it's back and running and saved yeah. He asked me to open the door, I dragged my lazy feet to the damn white door and opened it. Then he shoved this thing on my face. Apparently it was from Jonas jiejie, his girl friend. To be truthful of all girlfriends she is the best. I don't understand why the hell he doesn't pop the question. I keep seeing this Tiffany&CO letters. Hope he gets married soon. I'm almost out of high school anyway. Next year's college, and I do hope I can attend his wedding.

In case of unidentification flashing in your head, it's a cup with a cute little santa teddy the size of my palm with bells hanging omg it's such a darling!! And ferrero Rochero I forgot it's spelling okay.. and a goddamn candy cane!

Yeah so that cheered me up abit so anyways, Hope I'll have a sweet Christmas. Hey girls, don't you agree that your guy should compliment you more? Like once in awhile they just call and say "my dear you are so cute!" or they just make some small little card that says I love you and slips it to you when you aren't watching? Well, if my dearest you are reading this take it as a queue.. I'm a girl ya know no matter how vulgar or boyish I act I am still 100% girl. I use make up ya know! :p So I hope you'll do some sweet stuffs for me too >< It's always nice to just be suddenly hugged and snuggled instead of me doing most of it.. Sometimes it gets tiring.. They say a marriage sustains on love and some creativity. A love can be kept burning through small little gestures and presents. I doesn't have to be a large 16karat Diamond ring or a high powered race car. A small little cut out heart with I love you can do wonders too!

You don't have to say sorry so many times and blaming yourself when it's clearly not your fault. Sometimes it's just not about you, as the movie he's just not that into you So the problem's just not you so don't force it! It's not your fault you can't cheer me up, you live 14.7km away from me and it's late at night. Unless you have a teleporting machine and all then don't apologize when it's not your fault. Sometimes the more you apologize the more sad I am at myself than at you. It happen sometimes most of the time in fact So anyways I should be sleeping now.. It's 12.20am and tomorrow there's an edu fair and Body Guards and Assassins for me to watch. My tear glands have stop working so I can probably go to sleep if my nose doesn’t' hinder me from getting my beauty sleep. So goodnight folks, I'm going to sleep. and maybe tomorrow I might make a short post while I sit at starbucks since I'm brining lappy out tomorrow for the first time.

Couldn't do it in the past since my Sony vaio weights 2.4kg and I killed the battery. :p

Casey signing out,

Crabby's going back into the sand people!

Good night~

Reason...

2009-10-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

Alright guys, I've privatise my blog for several reasons because

1. I want to complain about my miserable life.. well not really.. I just want to voice out my opinions.
2. It hurts to know the truth
3. You who can read this, just know this. I trust you that is why I've invited you guys to read my blog. So even if you were to betray my trust for you I don't mind at all because it is human nature to do so. But keep this in mind. You let it out, you hurt the person whom you tell it to and you hurt me too. If you're ready to keep the guilt in yourself silently then go ahead.
4. There will be name-calling (I'm revealing who the hell I'm talking about)
5. This is my opinion of them and what they have done to me. That is how they treat me so please don't be influenced by what I have written because they might like you and that is why they treat you nicer.
6. I will reveal what they talk about last time so please don't tattle and confront them because some of the stuffs might be quite old like few months or last year so what's done is done. Not point going to them and slapping them in the face ya... This is just for you to know.

Poppi

2009-10-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in love before? Your heart races, your mouth curves into a smile without you even noticing, when nothing in the world matters at that moment?

Last Saturday I went to Honey's house to celebrate my birthday, his family made steamboat for lunch and bbq for dinner just for me. xD I was really touched >x< I've never got those kind of treatment before especially in my family ><

Then in the afternoon we both went to Brem mall near his house.. I didn't want him to buy me anything because It was enough just having him by my side to celebrate my birthday. So we went to brem mall because I wanted to go out and do something xD SHopping xD So we walked around then he told me about the haunted theathre. After we walked up he insisted we stop at the gift shop and he told me to choose a present... but of course I dwan la.. >< I'm not used to choosing or asking for presents (I don't even receive presents that often) So I just looked around then I decided to go to the haunted theatre to check it out.

Since time wasn't inour favour ): so we went down instead. The we stopped by the bookshop. I wanted to get the pencil eraser then he told me he needs to go to the toilet. So I was buying stuffs then he called me and said he got diaorrhea so have to wait a bit... So okay lor... Then after I buy my stuffs I went out then he appear behind me LOL! Then he surprised me with a present!! xD

POPPI!!!

Then we went to his house for dinner then watched District 9 LOL I asked so many questions LOLOLOL (I must really be annoying then) because If I were him I will surely be annoyed. Same goes for Pandorum ahahahaha ^^;

I could see he was really tired (he slept at 2am) then he laid his head on my lap the we continue to watch District 9 ^^ after that I went home then went to bed @.@ So tired ...

Good gracious

2009-10-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

Gah.. the year passes so quickly... first it was like January then the next thing I know it's spm already... and I'm not really prepared (not that I care) Since I find spm nonsense and some people are telling me it's once in a lifetime (and I wasted 2 years of my precious life studying for spm)

amd god why must we sit for

MORAL?

It is a total waste of time. It is a subject where discussion should be done and we;re not suppose to memorise the 7 bidang and 36 nilai. (waste of time) we still have biology remember??? =.=

Sigh.. Going to go for driving course this monday YAY!! Kay Lyn You idiot! We can sit for driving lessons at age of 17. Why you bluff me?? Stupid **** I dun care if youre offended, What did I ever do to you?? Just because you don't like to drive doesn't mean I don't. That's why you don't have friends! You just back stab them in the end and btw don't call me lazy because you're the lazy one. Where do you think I became lazy? Sometimes I wish I didn't go to the same tuition or school as you.

Back to my joy yesshhh I get to drive soon XD As soon as SPM is over I shall go and take my driving test bwahahahahah Dad already save the waja for me but.. If can I will sell the waja and get a smaller 2nd hand car since first hand usually have a lot of problems according to a lot of ppl ><

What about us?

2009-10-05T02:04:00.000-07:00

I feel detatchment from you these days like.. I'm not as important to you anymore.. You tell me that it's not that you don't want to see me but my family is.. yeah.. I know.. but then how do you think I feel when I come over to your house? I mean, I was willing to make that sacrifice because I love you and I'm the girl family lar.. so when girls go to guy's family of course actually I'm suppose to be more afraid than you.. I got to know your family and they're all really nice people so I hope you can do that for me too..

When I heard what you told me unconditionally it hurts. Even if I look on the bright side it still hurts a little when I think about it because I just wish..

That you could sacrifice that little for me..

I didn't really mind that you can't come over, I felt a little sad but it was alright then. Now I made a promise myself that I won't ask you over again because I fear I would get the feeling that you don't want to see me or lazy to go out etc.. So now it's up to you whether you want to see me or not or just stick to our LDR through the webcam, unable to hug, to touch, to kiss and to rub noses.

I leave everything up to you now

because I care and I love you. So now the big question is, do you love me? Eventhough you say you do? Can you comfort me when I need you? Can you say you love me and plan little surprises eventhough you can't reach me? or will you tell me how you wish you were there next to me while my tears flow that very second.

Just know that I love you and I would sacrifice much for you.

Sometimes when I say I'm alright,

The problem still exists there like a shadow of it's former self,

always waiting to come ahead and pull me towards it.

Do you know how I feel?

2009-10-02T17:33:00.000-07:00

I know I cry a lot these days, Cry cry cry, sad sad sad... Sometimes I also know I cause you unhappiness. But then I yearn for your attention and I yearn for your hugs. They're not like drugs to me. In fact, they are my source of energy and contentment. I feel that my life is meaningless entirely in fact but I don't say it out loud. But just that one little hug can make me feel so much.

When I invite you over to a date or over to my house sometimes I get this feeling in my gut that says you don't feel like going or seeing me so at that point I learn to trust my guts more and more because it's becoming more and more true. Every time you invite me over to your house I'm very happy that you're inviting me for once instead of me doing all the asking. But I do wish you could ask me out too like out of a blue you just blurt out "let's go on a date!" So far I've not heard so but then again I can't blame you because we live so far apart. I'm afraid to tell you because I don't know what you're feelings are so what I can do is to write it here for you to read and for all of you other people out there to know how I feel all this time.

I'm not a lovesick girl.

I know the syptoms of first love as I've already experienced it.

In fact I've vowed not to fall in love in reality again.

Vee, if you remembered last time how it went with Jon?

I know unknowingly I caused so much hurt. I don't want to cause anyone to be hurt.

I don't mind being hurt.

I just don't want to be a cause.

So I broke it off.

Because I felt left out.

I didn't feel anything.

I cried for him once because of my mom.

After that I didn't.

Because I couldn't do it anymore.

So I left.

I played online games and engaged in online relationships.

In fact I can say I cheated on some of my online bf's before because the latter did not pay much attention to me So I cheated.

I know in reality is different.

People get hurt.

I'm afraid to fall in love again.

But here I am writing this bloody post because I'm a coward who can't say it out loud without hiccupping and dribbling mucus all over my mouth and tears sliding down my face. I can't bear to tell it to you because I know I cry too much over the littlest thing and I know one day you will get bored of it. I know you hate my tears but I have more to spare than smiles. I cry alone in my room, on my bed. I can't talk to anyone. I don't know who to trust.

I don't.

I just know that I've fallen so deeply that I'm afraid what I'll do if I lose it. I don't know what to do. This is not an additional math question where if you get the answer wrong there's always a way to make it correct because you left something out. I don't know how it started or how it is going. I worry about our future but sometimes when we talk about it you shrugged off as if it is something medieval.

Every little thing matters.

I love art.

Details are the ones that tell the emotion and feelings,

When I am sad, you try to cheer me up. I try to smile but sometimes I know that deep down the matter is not resolved. No matter how many detours I take it is still there. SPM is coming and it is closer for us to determine our fate. I'm waiting for you to take me away but I'm not sure if you would really take me and fly away to another land just because you say so.

I don't know why but I keep getting this feeling that you don't want to take me away and leave me here in this cage. You're not my shackles my love and I don't doubt my feelings for you. I only doubt your feelings for me. Sometimes I look at you when you're not looking. I touch your hair and press my nose into your shoulders and breath in your scent. Because I know I can never have it with e always. I always want hugs and kisses from you but I can only hug air as much.

I see you everyday but yet here I am, yearning to hold you and hug you close so that you can never leave. There is so much things between us and this is only so new. When I talk to you about some matters I hear you joking I feel a little sad because I'm not taken seriously. I'm afraid to tell it to you because I don't want to suffocate you. Everyday I look at my calculator wishing you were here even if you were just sitting beside me.

I want to lean on your bony shoulders and feel you wrap your arms around me. Remember Borders? when we were in penang? When you went to get your stuffs you left me alone? I was looking at the teddy bear on display wondering when you'll be back so I can tell you how soft the texture bla bla bla was. Then I waited and I saw you running around. At first I thought you were looking for me so I did a little hide and seek. Then I realise you weren't. In fact busy checking on the book. I was a little disappointed and I was wondering whether I should get you a surprise present.

I like to see a smile on your face.

Then you came and told me you were sorry for leaving me alone so I felt a little better. Then you looked at the Teddy bear and offer to buy it for me. Actually I felt like saying yes but then we were with your family and the bear cost RM200 over so It's alright. If you would really take the bear I would have really stopped you. Then when I thought back I felt as it sometimes all those things seems a little too good to be true. I thought, "were you saying it to make me happy or do you really mean it?"

I don't know,

So I won't accuse.

Every time we go out together I feel like I'm doing all the "hey let's go etc." but I know sometimes you got give suggestions but then I hope that you would do the planning one day. That's why I told you I leave it all up to you for my bday. ^^ I'm just afraid that instead when we go out or anything you would ask me what I want to do.

I just want to be with you truthfully.

I don't want a life size teddy bear,

or an expensive watch,

I just want to hug and get a kiss from you during my birthday because It's one I can finally celebrate with someone. When I was with Jon, I read back my diary and realised we did not lasted long. Because I felt so lonely when I was with him. So I didn't get a chance to spend my birthday with anyone that year.

In fact I've never really spent my birthday with anyone save for a birthday party I TRIED to hold but then some guests didn't turn up. (more like 3/4) So another year spent being alone.

My tears only flow because my brain tells it to and my heart clenches when I think so much about a thing. Even when I'm going add math today I kept thinking about you.

I don't want to leave you silly, I just want you to be near me more often. But then when you told me that not that you don't want to see me it's because of my family I felt a little bit sad because I went through that feeling with you family and I thought you were already used to it because the first time you came over you didn't complain. So it's okay, rest assured I won't force/ask you to come over because I'd rather you feel comfortable with your environment. I won't ask you to go out with me anymore unless you want to because I don't want to get my hopes up high and be crushed again.

I'm sorry I'm such a coward but sometimes it hurts so much to be told that I won't be seeing you after having my hopes up. It's like you’re giving a rose to someone but then turns out that someone is allergic to flowers. :(

I love you honey,

remember that.

I won't leave you,

So please, please,

Don't leave me alone.

I don't want to be alone again,

you're the only one I can fully trust.

Promise

2009-10-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

You promised.

And yet I don't see how you can not remember that promise you made the night before.

I feel sad because of that too most of it..

I already had a feeling in my gut that you won't be coming this weekend.

So nevermind though.

I just wanted to spend sometime with you.

I wonder if you remember all those promises you made but didn't do?

Do you remember each and everyone of them?

Emo session II

2009-10-01T02:37:00.000-07:00

~~I think I'm going through a rebellious/depressive state of teenage hood.~~

~~Well it came really late. ._.~~

I was downstairs this afternoon in the kitchen after school preparing lunch before tuition starts at 2.30 then I over heard my dad talking to my 1st aunty. He said "Even the maid wears slippers. Why Chooi Yoke don't want to wear? I really despise seeing her not wearing slippers. I don't even care to say anything anymore." The best part is that I know he's saying it behind my back. Because I was in the kitchen, he was talking so freaking loud and he stopped talking immediately when he saw me walk past.

~~Too late anyway.~~

Well FYI to him (~~not that he even reads my blog~~) My whole family's illiterate practically. The only reason why our first floor is dirty is because all you people wear slippers. =_= I really don't know why he can't see the logic. If everybody don't wear slippers it would be waay cleaner because we don't wear the slippers INTO the house. But anyway that's not the point. I became quite sad because I came to a realisation about my family life. (Actually not really.. I knew it quite long ago. Just that I chose to ignore it.)

Many people tell me I'm very lucky because me family is better off than mediocre family. Well I know that is true. A lot people call me rich and I actually despise that. I find that those people who just label me like that doesn't deserve to because they don't see actual fact.

Try walking in my shoes for 17 years.

I live with a traditional family. My dad has 5 wives. My mom is the 4th wives and she does 80% of the cooking most of the time. She wakes up at 4am to prepare breakfast for everyone and she goes to work at 6.30pm with my dad to the factory then she comes home at 2pm. Then at 4pm she prepares dinner for everyone. Basically it's like this everyday except for Saturday and Sunday. My dad just complains about the food being bland or to hard. I find it tasty on the other hand so obviously I would talk back la! It taste great and you're complaining. Call me stupid just because he's bloody 86 this year (I still can't believe his liver isn't failing him from his alcohol consumption)

My dad is always complaining, not rational, likes to talk about his past more than ever always repeating the same thing. I heard the same story at least 3 times already. I know he has a hard life and he's trying to share with us about suffering and being grateful but he isn't being grateful that my mom is a good cook. He complains so much that I feel like just shoving him to the kitchen and ask him to cook a decent meal. Dammit!

Okay, I'm veering off topic. Yes, I hate people who call me rich. I know I'm spoilt and I can get anything I want but that's not entirely true. Sometimes I had to work for what I want! I got my laptop because I scored for my PMR trials. That's why I got my laptop unlike some people. I got this friend who got her laptop second hand from her parents and she's complaining. (The laptop was used for less than 3 months you idiot! It's new!) So I rolled my eyes. Really now, that stupid idiot. I hate her and I'm not afraid to admit that. If you know who you are, I'm declaring war. Once and for all I'm fed up with you. I don't like to make enemies but you started everything and I don't know the reason why.

Just so you know, I try to treasure my friends. But sometimes I feel left out so I would just leave the group on a whim so I'm not curious why some call me like.. action or anti-social. I like to join in and have fun but sometimes you just get this feeling that you're bring left out.

Returning back to family problems, money money money. I get allowance every month. and I actually have to buy my own toiletries okay! Like shampoo and body soap. Mind you, I can't buy cheap body soap or shampoo. I have to check whether it is compatible to my skin or not! and I spend most on tissues since my mom doesn't believe I have sinus so I have no choice but to waste money on tissue paper.

I wish I have a loving family.

~~(Parents who show it to me anyway)~~

I know they love me but hell sure they have a funny way of showing how much they hate me. I'm not a very optimistic person okay, I'm still a teenager. I need words of encouragement. When I got the rash the other day, all I got was scolding. You think I want to get this rash issit?! Do you know how much suffering it is? Pain is something you can stand but itchiness is a whole other thing. For itchiness you can't exactly scratch. If you scratch it becomes itchier and the rash will spread. For pain, you can just stand and not touch it and it will slowly go away if you don't move. Try saying the same for itchiness. So I got all kinds of scolding...

1) You eat a lot of junk food outside!

@(You don't even know what I eat outside. In fact I don't eat much outside food at all)

2) You eat too much McDonalds!

@(You also join in with me what.. and you call a lot for McDonalds once in a month or 2?)

3) You're fat.

@(I know I am. You don't have to remind me that just because my weight range from 58~62kg) In fact I'm proud to say I'm at the normal range for my height you bloody idiots!

4) You're stupid.

@(Just because I can't get straight A's like Lee Ren Ling that doesn't make me stupid. I'm just not cut out for sejarah and BM. I know my limits so why force me to be someone I'm not?)

5) You're ugly.

@(No woman is ugly. If I'm ugly that means you're ugly too because you gave birth to me. ._. I don't care about looks. If you want to judge me by my looks go ahead. Because you're an idiot and you should know that.)

6) You're lazy.

@(So? What for I become so hardworking? I also want to enjoy life.)

My family has never appreciate my (self proclaimed) talent for arts. When I draw something they'll be like "this is nice meh??" or "go and study la you! always draw draw draw" That's the reason why I don't draw much lately. I get the feeling I'm suppressed in my drawing skills. I used to say I would want to go to One Academy! So I can take up digital drawing and animation. Actually I still have the passion to do so. But then I want to do other things too! I don't know why this world must break so many things like studies.

Studying is a process where one learns! Whether it is physically or mentally. As long as you learn it is called studying. It doesn't mean you have to face a 1000 page chemistry reference book just to know what's going on. I like to read around Wikipedia about things that randomly pop into my mind. I like to watch music videos or listen to music because some of the music really gives you inspiration. Like one of the music videos Adele posted on facebook, I watched it and I was really moved-about an old man telling about his life.

So I am also learning what!

Haiz, I keep veering off topic. I just want to flame my blog about my problems because you see, I don't get my family members reading my blog other than those English literate. My mom worries about me and honey. They keep saying I'll get pregnant. Oh please... they don't even know what's going through my mind. When they try to talk to me, I'm always open to ideas but when you are accused of something outrageous would you call that a conversation of two ways?

For example:

Idiot: You arrh! Don't just love love love all night long! Go and study also la! You want to depend on a guy your life like me issit??

me: Huh? I got study also what! Besides, we study together.

Idiot: Ya ya.. kiss kiss kiss ohhh I love youuuuu then go to bed then get pregnant.

-see what I mean-

Me: =_= Wth You only think about that issit??

Idiot: No la! I'm just telling you to be smart and not be conned! You think he'll stay with you for life arr???!

Sometimes I really get fed up with these conversations. It's because I can't convey my feelings without being rude or even if I'm being nice THEY are being ridiculously rude and insensible saying things without thinking.

Seriously... They watch too many Taiwan soap operas where the girl gets pregnant and the guy is force to marry her. I can't believe they would force it upon me. =.= So basically I am their form of Taiwan love drama. =.=

Enough about soap operas. So as I was saying, I wish someone could take me away. I

I hate living in my own house.

I can't feel anything. It's like so alienating. I have no one to call to hang out with because it's SPM season, my friends are being quarantined in their houses with books... and I can't drive...

I wish I could live away from my house and lead another life where I'm counting on my own. Finance would be hard though.. I just don't want to be in a house full of judging ladies. Just because I'm the youngest, I'm not as great as my brothers and sisters, I'm not as healthy as they are, I'm more messier than they are I'm not as smart as they are so what. I don't care so why am I being compared at every time they look at me.

My siblings all take me as a spoiled brat... say that I'm so lucky get this and that and papa love me a lot cuz I'm the youngest... Just so they should know I've never received a word of encouragement or 'I love you' or hugs since I was like 7. When I ask my mom for a hug she would scold me and say go hug ur bf or hug the sofa or I'm crazy. I won't hug my dad because I don't think he deserve my hug in a way that he hasn't really been playing the role of a good father in attitude. In finance he can be considered a good father because he gets me ALMOST anything if he deems it important for my growing up process.

I wish I had a father like ravinya's or Saji's dad. I really look up to their fathers. They're both really fun people to be around with because they joke and really make the situation more fun. They really are like their father. Or like Cynthia, she got a dog.. omg her dog is so cute!!!! >< I wanted a dog since I was small. But because they believe I'm such a dirty person (messy) and I don't know how to take care of myself and etc. I shouldn't get a dog and I'm allergic to prawns and seafood when the doctor already reminded them my eczema has NOTHING to do with those food.

Seriously...

Whatever. I will end the post. I was really sad just now before tuition but I feel better now. I don't attempt suicide because I'm not a self destructive person. What can I do if I die? It's not like I can change anything.. So I just cry, emo, sad, hug my bolster, talk to my honey, ask someone to bring me away, cry just a little bit more, write/talk about it and forget everything that has ever happened.

Sometimes money is not everything.

I want family love more than money.

I want to get away from this house more that anything.

I just want to be happy.

I want someone to stand beside me and tell me it's okay, I'll take you away.

Even if it's just for a little while.

Miserable

2009-09-29T00:12:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I went to my aunt's house for a buffet since she organised a house warming party. After getting lost at a Islam housing area we finally found her house and then let the buffet begin.

So I had fried mee hoon and friend rice and wantan... then went home at about 9pm since we got there at 8.15pm~

I took a shower and went to sleep la since I have a big date with honey the next day. Oh yeah, I had diarrhoea the entire day. That was only the tip of the iceberg.

At like 2am in the morning I woke up with this annoying itchiness all over my body. Then I noticed I had this rash on my hand and it was disgusting. I wanted to tell someone but everybody was sleeping and I have a date the next day so I decided to just go back to sleep thinking it was milk rash (but I didn't have any dairy products that day :/ ) and it took me like another hour and a half to sleep back. THen I woke up again at like 4am and the same thing happened so I TRIED very VERY hard to go back to sleep and I did and woke up at like 7am.

After honey came We had breakfast and I told my mom about my rash and they tot it was hives (foong mok -in chinese-) and told me to put some vinegar and not expose myself to wind so I was stuck in my room with honey and the tv showing one miss call III xD (not that I'm complaining) besides the fact that I was itchy all over =_=

then after I "thought" I recovered then we went down to eat lunch before going to midvalley... After leaving the house and going to mv Suddenly my shoe broke. omg... RM70 shoe just broke... it was just my second time wearing the shoe!! So we went down to ground floor to the shoe shop to gent some sandal for me to wear. :p

Then we wanted to go watch movie but my itchiness got so bad we decided to go see the doctor instead. Then I was suffering so much and the queue wasn't moving much. =.= So I held on to his hand and was shivering and sufferring and feeling miserable but happy that he was here for me.. Then finally my turn I got a jab on my right arm and I felt much better but still itchy... Then we took a taxi and went back to midvalley.

Then we went to find food after buying the tickets and I decided to check out Austin Chase and

IT SUCKED ASS

DON'T EVER GO THERE TO EAT!!

I'll tell you why. :p

1) The people there was NOT friendly at all

2) The guy said no sandwiches so fine.. I'll take spagetthi instead.

3) Then he came AFTER I paid to tell me THERE IS NO SPAGGETHI SAUCE.

4) So he paid me back RM5 and gave me a Tuna Sandwhich instead.

5) He didn't even bother to HEAT IT UP for me.

6) The coffee SUCKS!! (starbucks is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better)

Conclusion: DON'T EVEN GO TO AUSTIN HASTE PEOPLE!! Food is horrible and waitressing skills suck too. :p

Then after that we went to Starbucks and had Chicken finger sandwich! :D

Then we watched G-Force and I was quite alright during the movie.. not much attack because I was giving a lotion to put on (but the lotion was damn irritatin. It was all chalky when you put it on) Then after thatwe were walking around and it was like 5 something and I wanted to try the English Afternoon Tea from Delicious so we went to the restaurant.

OMG THE CHOCOLATE WAS HEAVEN!!!

People, you have GOT To try the chocolate!!!! I love the chocolate man!! and the truffles... OMGOMGOMGOGM I LOVE THE TRUFFLES!!!! Honey wanted to offer his truffles to me since I loved it so much but we were sharing so it wasn't fair so I kinda made a one bite deal with him. I eat one bite and he has the rest. XD Then I take away the left over food since we had to leave so stomach for the Saisaki buffet with Mengmeng and Choon Lian.

Then we took a taxi to UOA II and we were like looking around for the buffet and then Honey was like "Honey, look up" then I looked up... THERE IT WAS! On the second floor. Great. Now how do we get up? Then I saw this car stopping and this guy coming out and I was like 'this guy looks fammiliar' then OH! It was choon lian! Then we turned behind THERE WAS AH MENG! Why didn't he just show up when we were walking aimlessly? =.=

Then we went up and ate food. The sushi was

HORRIBLE.

Seriously. But the abalone soup and Cawan Mushi was really nice to eat. ^^ I didn't get to try the tempura because I was really very full. Then honey ate till he vomitted I was SO worried and my mom kept bugging me what time I'm coming home then that was it.

We.are.going.home.

Then we flagged down a taxi and got ourselves to the monorail station where we waited for my bro. Then korkor came and sent honey home, I went home took a shower and went to sleep. Except.. I couldn't sleep. The damn skin problem was back and it ain't happy. I was sweating and I wasn't allowed to on the air cond so I barely slept. When I woke up I had scratches all over my body since t was so itchy then I was suffering so I went to school with long sleeve and pJ pants and I looked like a SLOB. dammit.. I realy hate it.

So I went home to get some rest and I was suffering and then I went down to tell my mom since the problem spread to my face so I went to see my family doctor and got two stabs on my butt... One on the right and one on the left then I was alright!

I had a fitfull sleep from 4pm till 10pm. Then I woke up, ate dinner and went back to sleep after medi. Then this morning it was itching again and it was like without the bumps my leg was red in patches and I was getting worried... mom didn't let me skep school eventhough I had MC for the day so I went to school and surprisingly it improved. So Now I'm kind of hive free but I'm still itching a bit but at a tolerable level like normal so I'm not rolling on the bed trying to kill myself or shed my skin. :D

Penang Trip

2009-09-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday I went on a trip to Penang with my honey and his family XD I slept at his house in the guest room ya.. Don't simply think of stuffs okay?? XD Crabby and her honey's family left house at 3am I the morning. Yes...

~~3am...~~

Goddammit... it was so early I haven't open my eyes yet. Honey came into the guest room and he was like "Honey? Wake up~" Then he got on the bed and hug me. Then hughug then we almost fell asleep again then his dad came in and was like "lin yao.. wake up"

LOL!!

That was embarrassing.. ehehehhe

Then we got into his huge car (which could fit 8 people in it) wow XD Then we headed off to Penang! It was so damn uncomfortable trying to sleep cuz I was trying to find a right position to snooze but then ended up having back pain and honey slept with his neck behind and had neck pain.. and yeah... LOL! Then we reached Butterworth and really there wasn't anything much there ahahaha so we checked into the residential house, I slept in a room with 3 beds with honey's mom and grandma while he slept in a room with his bro and dad. After we put our stuffs then we went out for breakfast. Then we took a ferry to Penang island!! A car on the ferry (not my first time but it was fun nonetheless)

I learnt a lesson.

I was never a fan of tight schedule vacation.

So I had running nose the entire day on Sunday (It was really... VERY annoying and gross.) I know.. I'm a sucker when it comes to health... come on man.. give me a break :p So after breakfast we went to Keck Lok Si temple and had LOADS of walking and then we were going to take the inclined lift up the lift jammed. Omg.. it was so stuffy in the lift. The aircond broke down and this uncle was making loads of noise.. I was so tempted to scold that uncle. He was saying things like "Please let me out la! At most I just take the other lift!" over and over again. wtf... if they could let us out they would have done so long ago. = = So we got out and took the other lift up instead! :D

In the souvenir shop, I saw this really really cute piggie, then I was like omg SO CUTEEE then honey say he wants to buy for me then I was like dwan la.. waste money.. then I walk away la, then he went and buy the piggies behind my back and ask his mom to keep it for him. Then He gave it to me later and I was like OMG YOU BOUGHT IT?? XD <3 lurve you honey! Thanks for the piggies! *huggles*

Then here are some kek lok si picture we took :p

After KLS temple we went to other temples also aahahah we went to a LOT of temples LOL!! One of them was the snake temple! :D

and the dual buddha temple~

and more temples. :p

Then we had dinner/lunch? at McD I never knew we could refill the soft drinks. The funny part was, his dad ask us to refill all of our cups (I think there was 7 cups in total) Then after refilling, we went to the car, emptied two bottles of large coca cola/F&N bottle then filled it up with coke. WOW LOL!! I really had a good laugh thinking bout that LOL!!

Then we got back to the RH(Resident House) and went to sleep. (I was DEAD tired and my running nose wasn't helping) Ahh... I'm getting lazy to updateeee :p So I shall cut it a wee bit shorter. We went to a lot of temples and had loads of fun and ate lots of food and the things in Penang was

GOD FREAKING EXPENSIVE

The breadou bun in Penang was RM12 for the small one and you can get RM12 for a empty bread face with a pen to draw on it. and you can get a drawn one under the breadou company (branded) for RM8.90. It was damn freaking expensive in Penang.

Then on monday we toured around and MORE temples ahahaha 2nd day didn't take much photos though :o we went to Queensbay mall and really.. I can't compare to MidValley.. I was bored out of my wits and the arcade kind of sucks.. (because they didn't repair the para para dance machine T_T)

On tuesday we went back to KL but stopped at Tapah to buy some biscuits and food back :D XD Then I reached home at about 4pm and that night I got sick. Man.. I surely is NOT a fan of tight schedule vacations. T__T

one last thing,

♡I LOVE MY HONEY A LOT!!♡

╔═.♥.══════╗

~LIN YAO & CASEY~

╚══════.♥.═╝

History Hysteria..

2009-09-10T01:28:00.000-07:00

Oh man... I need a happy pill... stupid... I didn't know I could be so emo last night T__T

Happy Pill xD

Physics went okay.. I could answer most of the questions.. I had to kill myself over that idiotic chapter.. (chapter 4 of form 5) damn it.. I couldn't remember the damn form XD Oh well :p there's nothin' I could do about it anyway >.>

Ah.. shit.. tomorrow's history.. got to study study study D: If not I'm going to die die die >x< I always wonder... why those poeple who like history basically can bear to read the text book 3 times and the text book is nothing but boring history.. >< (wished I had their patience)

Basically I could drive myself

into hysteria.

I want to eat..

._. who want's ice cream? xD

Take me away

2009-09-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Please, someone..

take me away..

take me far far away

I want to fly

I want a friend...

I just want someone to take the pain away..

call this whatever you want but

pent up emotions needs a place to go

so just ignore this and keep your pity to yourself

and I don't care if I am now 'labeled' as emo.

Biology.. what..?

2009-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

I really really hope I would never be a doctor... because my paitients would end up like

Those people will be on the muffins XD

I look like a doctor mouse.. I'm afraid to give medi to sick people cuz I might kill him...

or in surgery... I kill him...

and besidesssss

I don't like to read a book that will be...

this... thick...

Things took a emo turn on a night before the physics exam.. I'll try to follow Mr. Steven's words for once and sleep early without doing some late night cramming but I am still gonna wake up at 5 to continue my form 5... I have this confidence that I can salvage through my physics but then I have this annoying scratch at the back of my head... that tells me that I am going to fail if I don't do anything so here I am after chucking my physics aside.. for this blog post.. I need a stress reliever..

And so If you don't wanna hear me emo then skip this paragraph then.. I don't care cuz I'm here just to flame this blog for all I careeee

scare later I crash myself like this poor car...

I pride myself for being annoying at most time and sensible at some time and downright stupid most of the time but I do know one this is I will never hurt the person I love but then... I feel so selfish.. is it wrong to want for attention? I live in a house with constant nagging and scolding and possibly I'm brave enough to say that I receive almost close to less than 10% interaction in my household. A father who thinks he's always right who tried to talk science with me and knowing I am a science student... For f***ing god's sake he's trying to make a conversation about how cloud is formed and I tell him facts he gives me myths and scolds me for debating with me. wtf.. he started that conversation.. The whole reason why I am the last to come down for dinner and first to leave. I am always never good enough apparently but whatever... don't really care.. because this household is really... very f**ked up.. I see all the wives of my father not loving him because he's all power crazy and all.. my stepmom are mostly illiterate and only some of them can read Chinese. (So much for asking for help when I have homework problems..)

Almost every time I come home then first thing when I step into the house is not welcome home. I would receive some kind of insult or accusation. So what if I was a spoiled brat when I was younger? Who the hell are you blaming over some lost screwdriver... The first person they look for is me when something goes missing. When I eat their food without permission I get scolded. When I buy food with my own pocket money they eat it and at one time when I tried to argue back I got like "the scolding from hell" ad they compare me to my bros and sis and they start babbling how spoiled I am... They complain how fat I am... My skin sucks... and when I try to control my weight by eating less but sometimes I have stomach problem they lecture me and when I eat they lecture me... Isn't it better if I'm off not eating as well? Every time I do something they would lecture me and the next thing I know they're lecturing me about the same thing but opposite of they had said earlier. I am so fed up of listening. (and they wonder why I always stay in my room)

When I'm on the phone, they blast the tv till I could hear them from 3rd floor outside my room. When THEY'RE on the phone they tell me to either stop playing my piano or ask me to off the tv. Sometimes I put the volume so low I had to rely on subtitles. They best part was every time I start to play then piano they will purposely come to the phone nearest to the piano and sit there expecting me to stop playing so they could use the phone. Can't they use the cordless phone with full battery life? They are so f**ked up.

sigh.. I sound like a spoiled teenager but then how can you blame me? I can't even hug my own mom without her calling me crazy. Is it me or am I toxic?

At one point I was telling them that I love him because he does not care about my flaws (my eczema.. and sinues) and they snorted and laughed at me... and telling me they eat more salt than me eating rice (chinese proverb about experience of life) Yeah so what.. there's a lot of things in life that they haven't explore since they're life confined in the house for most the time.. I want a companion to spend time with me but unfortunately I'm stuck with SPM year and I'll be missing high school (not form 5 and NOT the homework)

I feel like a spoiled selfish brat.

Either it's just me or it's really true but sometimes I am surrounded with annoying idiotic hypocrites who call themselves my friends and backstab me when I'm not looking and I really want to torture them (I have my ways to blackmail) but I have a sensible brain and emphaty and pity so I decided not to do anything but threaten and let myself get beaten over it...

Oh where has the innocent childhood gone...

I really have lots of friends that I really wish I could be closer to and have a group of friends to gossip and look out for each others back.. I feel so jealous when I see other people having their own groups and I'm a loner but I don't really care but then sometimes I know myself I wish I could.. belong.. have someone to joke with during recess.. have someone to hang out with.. Sometimes I try to join in on other groups but then I feel so left out because I tend to be ignored..

Today after the bio test when I was walking to the canteen with 2 other classmates, I tried to join their convo about the subject but then I was ignored so.. fine.. then I walked ahead.. then sat down alone.. then Jaya joined me and she was telling me about why everyone's confined to the four walls of the class room and not coming out for recess.. then they rest of her gang came then I tried to join in but then it's so hard since I practically don't fit in..

Then I thought back on my teen life.. I realise I didn't really made an effort to make close friends.. I did have some but then I don't know what happened. Some transferred and I grew distant to her and she became a really successful girl in her new school unlike in my school now.. Then others went their separate ways in different classes... and then I have my childhood friends I would really want to meet back.. I want to meet up with Cheryl, kai fong.. pheobe... I remember their names and faces but that was 10 years ago.

Sigh.. how nice is it to reminisce about childhood days..

worry free...

no one gets hurt...

it's either I friend you or I don't friend you..

no backstabbing..

The world is f**cked but if it isn't... It's not the world then. Sadness, anger, guilt makes up for happiness, gratefulness and content. They all walk hand in hand and that's what makes us human. I don't mean any insults if any of you are reading this..

I like to joke around in my class and sometimes I know my jokes are going too far but I know when to stop unfortunately the damaged is done. I am labelled something I am not and sometimes when I see what people label me as I feel insulted and sad because I don't mean it that way. Of course I swallowed it down because nothing can be solved if you thrown anger upon assumptions. So there's either voicing it out, two options: The person gets insulted; you get forgiven

and another is swallow it down and pretend nothing happens. they're happy, so are you on the outside.

This world is full of hypocrites and I am one of them. I despise hypocrites and yet I am one of them so that makes me a hypocrite right? Having this facade when you're talking to people, a poker face, a mask to cover up what's really inside.

Who is behind the mask?
anger?
jealousy?
Gluttony?
Pride?
who knows.. it is a mask,
to cover what is not,
a facade to cover what is real,
sometimes the truth can be ugly,
sometimes when the damage is done,
the truth can do nothing but stand aside as a spectator,
of a golden stage,
a stage of masks,
where puppet masters play their skills,
and bring the stage to life,
where a mask of facade slips in place,
to slip a silk satin robe,
over the body of a bloody rose in one hand.

@3!0u

2009-09-07T01:43:00.000-07:00

Now now... trials started last week and I'm suppose to be studying but then... At one time I needed to go to the dentist but then next to the dentist was a pirated dvd shop and I bought Season 5 of House and Season 3 of Heroes...

Ahh.... House may be old but he is.. very er... charming XD

AND HEROES!! XD I LURVEEE HIRO!

(Altough he may be stupid at some point ahahaha)

Ahhhh I'm so love sicccckkkk

But it's not a bad thing ehehe...

(I would even say I'm happy I'm love sick after all~~ I can never get one as good as this~)

(sigh... it's a curse and a blessing to be in love *heart* *heart*)

okok enough about that.. (The crab goes into hiding) I shall tell from here instead :p in my bottle of sand xD

Little crab, little crab,

where can you hide when the tide comes?

Do you hide in your little bottle,

or let yourself be swept away?

A place where I can hide and live in my little world

Sometimes I really can just stare at this lovely for minutes

(not hours because I have homework waiting for me)

Sigh.... birthday's still far far away... I don't want this to happen...

I... have a wishlist... Gah I want these stuffs!!!D<

I want a life size teddy bear... (Especially those from Lovely lace wahahahha)

I also want... this...

for my birthday XD

(psst.. is it possible?)

I never really was the fan of watches but then I

really want this watch I saw >x<

I tried finding it on the swatch website But I couldn't find it..

sigh.. I don't even know the bloody price :x

Swatch 'Yellow Spring', GK348

and and and I want so many things but still I want

A LIFE SIZE TEDDY BEAR!!

Oh well.. you can't always get what you wish for =X=

(that's what santa's for right... :P)

And then My homework's pilling up...

No.. not like this...

It's more like...

yeah... If it wasn't hidden with a door.. teacher would have noticed

(especially Puan Faizah and Cik Nooraini.. =x=)

But then again... I'm in this situation instead D<

SPM TRIAAAAAAAAAALS

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH

!!!

The dead absence

2009-09-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

CLICK IT!

CHECK IT!

Hey ya! It's been a long loooooooooong time since I've blogged xD Sorray ya the crab has more things to deal with her crappy at the same time wonderful time. Spending every free time of my days in front of the webcam just looking at him makes me happy it's like I'm having love shaped eyes xD

And it's all because of.....~~~~

him.

It feels like... drowning.. everytime I look into his eyes

I never knew it could be so deep,

To be so smothered and in love.

Ahhhh I know I'm being cheesy here... (eyes move to wen yee)

but of course...

:P So here I'll update and post some pics about my trip @ Japan but I can't really tell you much because there's too many pictures D: So I'll put some right up here 8D

Where can you find a life size ramen human air bowl?

Me and Saji ;D Havin 'fun' at the beach

I really really don't know what is this ahahahaha xD Captain for a day LOL!

We were in the disney land

and this~ was before we got into the plane to Japan xD

Well, that's all from the trip to Japan.. and nao... all about my Honey!

A few weeks back he was sick like shit... really nao... He skipped school like.. for almost a week and I was so worried like sick.. but then... I had this one chance to see him covered with his blanket and he look sooooooooooooo cute xDDDDDD My little bed bug wahahahahaha XD

Isn't he just adorable!!

(I know you're rolling you're eyes right now but hey.. you can't deny it's cute XD)

And here my beloved class wahahaha try to find me!! xD

5M R.O.C.K.S

Raving, Over-reacting, Crazy, Kool Students ;D

While everybody was nowhere to be seen, we took our time playing with the cam XD

I have nothin to say about this picture except

"HI PEOPLE!"

And last but not least

THE GRAPHIC EDITORIAL BOARD!!

Worked with these guys as long as I can remember being in the graphics board and boy...

GB are being enslaved by Pn. Daphne XD

Hey guys

2009-06-28T04:34:00.000-07:00

Hihi guys!! Sorry bout the long wait but I bring bad news. :( more waiting T_T I've got to wait to get all the pictures from my school teachers and then only can I post coz my cam ran out of memory space in japan T_T sooooory sorry sorry guys!! T_T

It is Heaven on earth!!!

2009-05-31T01:42:00.001-07:00

Well, my mom found out I have a boyfriend and she was like... I dunno... not really cool and not really like the "NO! YOU MUST LEAVE HIM!" She didn't really talk about it (she found out like.. a week ago) So yesterday I tried my luck la... I asked her in the car.. conversation was:

Me: Mi.... (mummy= mami = mi...) Tomorrow can I go Midvalley with my bf?
Mom: Of course.... not.
Me: Yerr why???
Mom: You ask ur dad la!
Me: I bring him back u wan see him a not?
Mom: You ask ur dad.

At home...

Me: Pa... can I bring my bf back?
Dad: What? I can't hear you...
Me: Can I being my bf back?
Dad: BF?! How old are you?! You're only 14 and you have bf?!
Me: ... I'm not 14... I'm 17...
Dad: Oh... okay lo. Brring back for dinner lo
Me: OKAY!

I never knew it was THAT easy.. if not I would have told them like... loooooooooooong ago.... So today I went on a date with bi (wad I call him) He was there at 10am edi... My mom at 9.45am was like "COME! We going to injection!" O_O She meant like.. injection for Influenza la.. since I'm going to Japan ma.. then When we went to the clinic, the doctor said that there was no more vaccine and the pills no more stock. T____T So it has to wait lo... then my mom dropped me off at midvalley ;D

Then I went up and went to the cinema and found bi lining up XD See I can find him in that crowd oso hehe... ;D Then we bought tickets to the movie terminator. I was like @_@ half the movie coz so confusing then in the end I was like.. ohhh.... so THAT'S what happened LOL!! Then we bought paired rings <3

I forgot to take one picture with the rings aiya... nx time la xD

Then after that we went for the movie. It was quite funny though... we bought the double seats at the side... I thought it was the one that could move the handle up but then it turns out the you can't. So I hugged his arm and told him "if your arms gets numb, tell me." Then he didn't since we were both freezing in the cinema. My left side was freezing, his right side was freezing, and the middle was so warm... (Yea yea so what? XD) After the movie his arm was numb LOL!!! Kesian bi hehee

Then we went to arcade for one game of para para. Damn... I so long din play... first round straight away phailed. NOOOOO T____T I was so mortified I go and seek comfort from bi... Well bi, look on the bright side. This is a 1% chance of your ego boost. hehehhee

Then after that we went and take a walk to go and find the garden's rooftop. So I went with bi.. We went up there and took some pictures! ^^ It was empty and still in renovation but it's open already. xD I'll be after 3 months again hehe ;D

Then we went back to arcade and played other games until his hand got blood clot under the skin LOL! So ganas he play the drum =x

Then after that we went home to my house and met my parents! LOL!! I can see he was uncomfortable at first then he was alright. ^^ (Love him so much for doing this for me <3) style="text-align: center;">Pictures of the day!

His Bag

My so called 'Prada' bag

Garden's rooftop

Bi being big boss xD

I dunno wad happened but this picture is FUNNY!!

Casey: *readies camera* Bi!
Bi: Hmm?
Casey: *snaps photo*

I look like a retard LOL!

He rolled on my bed. =P
My maid just changed my bedsheet today ya know...

The ice cream brownie we had in baskin robins

And... after we were done... LOL!!

=D

2009-05-25T01:42:00.000-07:00

I'm really happy because A few days ago me and my partner made up ^^ *yea* And I'm also here to whore one of my cousin's blog.

http://sexy-sweet-life.blogspot.com/

This blog sells clothes for ladies mostly and the finds are cute and worth it. Most of the items are under RM50 and I would recomment buying them ^^ (Since I've bought a dress or two from him as well)

My cousin and his gf is operating the blog shopper so do drop by and take a look ^^ It's worth 3 minutes of your time. ;D

And WOO HOO EXAM'S OVER!!! FINALLY!!!! I was really pissed this afternoon coz I was so careless in physics paper 1. I mean... I forgot that absolute zero is -273 Celcius and 0 Kelvin. Damn... and there was so many mistakes... I reeeeeeeeally got to buck up soon. ><

And what more I have my byby hu stands by me in this pathetic midterm examination woes and inspires me to study hard and even wakes up early in the morning just to be my morning wake up call. <3

Feeling down lately.

2009-05-18T02:17:00.000-07:00

I got into a fight with my partner the other day because I was saying she abandoned me. Well, she say she'd rather talk to other ppl that me coz all I talk about is a person. But then again She seldom talk to me so does it make sense for her to simply assume that I'm always rambling on? Everytime she would turn around and join my two other friends sitting behind me. I don't mind but when she does a question and get an answer she would always turn around and ask.

Am I invisible?

Sometimes when I ask her question how to do this or that she would ignore me or ask me to wait and in the end I'll be scratching my head till I ask teacher. I feel really lonely in class. :( Everybody has their own groups and I seem to fit into none of them. Sometimes I wished vee were still here. :( She always stood by me and supported me when I really needed it. She took my rantings head on and gave me words of wisdom. Though sometimes she may be talkative but now.... after she's gone I feel sad that I didn't have the chance to cherish her when she was still here.

Now I'm feeling down at this moment when physic's test just around the corner. But I can't help but want to express my problems (I thought that's wad blogs are for...) I pride myself at being able to communicate with almost everyone and strangers. But I feel that I have a lot of friends but very few who would consol me and share my problems with me that I could trust and give me some support.

One of those person is Zhi Wen. Sometimes I like to treat her really bad by insulting her height but we would always laugh it off. She would hear my problems and insult me sometimes for my stupidity but I'm glad she does that because it's nice to hear some honesty once in awhile. At least she would keep her judgement to herself till the times right when I'm ready to hear it. She doesn't jump into conclusion and judge me just from that little speck.

I wish more people were like that around me. But we can never get what we wish for. I do enjoy being with my other friends but I feel really alone sometimes. I wish at the very least I could move seats so I could concentrate more and not feel isolated. It's better to isolate yourself than to be isolated.

I'm really thankful to have that special someone to stand by me and support me during exams, constantly worrying about my health and my studies. I love you dear! -ehem- Continuing... I just hope that I could live through this exam and work towards a better result. Sometimes I wish I had more friends I could count on that would include me in what I do and I could do the same.

Outing with guyz LOVE YA PEOPLE!!

2009-04-27T05:55:00.000-07:00

Last Satuday I had an outing with Yuen Yuen, Wei Wei and Lin Lin! Honestly I was quite surprised to see wei wei actually (I never knew he was SO TALL) When I first saw weiwei la, I look at him. Straight ma, and I saw was his chest. Then look up only can see his face. Waaaa so tall... (dunno wad he eat de; maybe drink milk like gila last time)

Best part was, I went early la, about 10am. Then I went to reload my handphone and went up to the arcade. Then I went to the toilet and when I walked out and walked towards the arcade then So ngam I looked to the left and got this guy de face very familliar de LOL! It was lin lin XD Then I waved to him, he look like got the 'what the hell is this girl waving at me for' expression. Then he realise it was me LOL!!

So funny la that one. Somemore first question he ask me is : That shirt is your brother or your father one issit?!

LOL!! (as expected XD)

Then we went and play the para para paradise dance mix as we've been talking about for quite some time and the best part was... I PAWNED LINLIN!! Oh yea xD That day la, when I went out on Saturday and saw kenneth and his friends, so we were playing the game. Well, only Kenneth and I played la. Then linlin went and play hard mode, he failed la but got 8th place. I even better got 13th place coz that was the first time I played hard mode.

Then last Saturday I play hard mode, totally passed 1st and 2nd round and epic failed the last round with a bumbling 20%!!YEA XDDDD

So after that we went and play the drum game. I chose a song lvl x12 one. WALAO Play until hand gone liao LOL!! Then we both go out la... wondering where yuen yuen and weiwei is... I sms yuenyuen he say he's at the animetech there, so me and linlin walk there la. Then later yuenyuen say he passed by us. wtf I didn't see him LOL!!

Then after that we go arcade.. play play.. then go chiong K..(karaoke)

But hor.. weiwei and yuenyuen went to pets wonderland, so me and linlin went to gardens action city to see a bit then go redbox wait for the two guys. after wait like dunno how long, linlin call yuenyuen I think or was it weiwei then he say excuse me then walk further and screamed crude words. I was so shocked and was like 'omg I dunno you!' LOL!! But it was really funny la LOL My eye went bigbig like wan fall out edi xD

Then we all meet and chiong k... all the song chinese ONE LOL!! The only chinese song I can sing is F.I.R Lydia XD Last time sing until memorise edi. but horh I dun know wad the song means. LOL!!!

Then at 3pm I had to go liao le... Got piano class T^T so sad... I tot wan stay longer

Lin lin singing LOL!! The mic there I put one xD

YuenYuen and Weiwei xD The peace sign near yuneyuen is my hand xD

Me and Yuenyuen cam whoring xD

Yuen really sian until wan sleep Liao. LOL

Dunno why Weiwei even took this picture in the first place. :p

Lin lin so shiok sing until he nvr finish his food. water all finish drink liao LOL

Fcking ants

2009-04-22T04:12:00.000-07:00

I hate ants. This afternoon after school I realised my undergarment drawer and my pyjama drawer were filled with ants. WTF

My sis in law warned me about ant season coz the room got lots of ants and I never really did believe it until NOW. Wtf... I HATE ANTS

If I got wish, first wish is to wish ants never existed. Then wish everybody was pretty and handsome and wish that there is no such thing as money. ONly free stuffs. Won't that be nice?

And the start of SPM Intervensi II

2009-04-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was studying for my sejarah.. I so semangat study sejarah coz I thought sejarah was today. Then as I was looking for something Assabiyah, I forgot which chapter and called Nazurah who inform (a.k.a scolded) me that today was BM and MORAL.

MORAL.

Yes, freaking Moral.

what the eff man...

I was like oh... shiet... there goes my study time. Then I spent one whole day salin the maksud and woke up at 4.30am just to study and you know what?

Only a few nilai came out. IT WAS REPEATING THE SAME THING FOR GODS SAKE!

I was looking at the paper kinda pissed because I memorised most of it only to realise only like.. 5 came out of 30++ nilai. wth

But anyways BM was okay... considering I COULD answer most of the questions save the bloody peribahasa area ahahaha I was so confused at the question. Did they mean 3 for each petikan.. or one for each petikan because there was 3 questions and only 6 marks. I guess 2 marks for each question so I did wad I could and hope I don't die.

I seriously don't want my TOV graph to fall below zero. I'm aiming for 10 marks improvement in every subject except for sejarah moral and chem which I am for around 20 marks or more.

1020

Then Today Ms.Low told me Sheila Majid (dunno how to spell the madjid or something like that) the local singer came to our school to sing with one of the girls who won the competition and Miley Cyrus (I don't like her. Just SOME of her songs) is coming but later after this months I guess. So the form 1 and 2 and 3 are invited and form 4&5's are not allowed.. not that I wasn to go. I've never heard of sheila in the first place.

My IQ on Malaysian local singers us close to non-existant. I mean, I only know who is Siti Nur Haliza... Jacklyn Victor, Mawi and that's all. P.Ramlee too if u consider him in that is.. other than that Nada. Nil. Zero.

So tomorrow's English and Sejarah.. Thank god it's english. I don't have to read anything since there's no novel or anything. I just got to brush up on my letter format writing since it's been ages since I wrote a formal letter and I just hope it's one of a complain type. I can really complain if I want to XD

Sigh. Sejarah sejarah...
Oh woe is me,
Why do arth hate me so?
I read and kiss you before exams,
and yet thou arth throw me away like used tissue paper...
Where thou is the one made of paper,
Thy is heart broken,
furious,
and utterly
Devasted.
Let thy say this to thou,
Fudge off.
Leave me alone.

I hope I pass sejarah with 10 marks extra this time...

Simplicity is the best choice.

2009-04-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with a bad mood because of my bloody stomach which made me wake up in the middle of the night... swt la! Then I was thinking.. should I got to MidValley? without even waiting for a second my mind just say YES.

So I went to MidValley la. My mom was asking me 'hey, who are going with?' I looked at her with this horrified look. "You ask me go MidValley with a friend when I'm shopping for undergarments?!" Then she snorted and walks away after shoving 200 bucks in my hand. THen I ask her, what she need... then she say buy shampoo... buy KFC for dad... buy etc...

ok. DONE.

So I went to arcade first to play play before I go get those stuffs. I changed RM5. I play para para paradise dance mix rm4 and rm1 on the basket ball. Man I really sweated. Seriosuly!! I play Hard, passed the first round, and failed the second round with a DUM DUM DUM 0%!!!! Then I was like wth.. so anyways I went and play non stop para mode coz they had 4 rounds.. 4 rounds worth of my money then play until I sweated like crazy. Then went and buy stuffs.

I renewed my Jusco Card and got this one whole book of coupons. JACKPOT! Then went shopping around for clothes but all of them are so expensive.. So in the end I spent like RM80 on undergarments alone... then the rest on grocery.

Then I went to carefour.. It was so embarassing. In so many years since I went into Carefour, I ALWAYS give my bags to be inspected before going in but I was so tired today, I just walked in and the guard was like "MISS! MISS!" So embarassing.. He said I walk so fast LOL!!

I was shopping for things for someone and half the time I was like "what the hell does a guy like for his birthday?" It was really hard. I was considering buying a teddy bear but.. hey.. he's not me. I LOVE teddy bears XD So in the end.. I bought SOMETHING lah.

It was from 10.30am and I got back at 2.40pm... My legs are about to fall of... really... sigh.. tomorrow Is the start of exam week.. I need to study... and at least score... before my mom chop my head into pieces.. and ban me from MidValley.. no... nonononoo.. I CAN'T imagine a life without MY MIDVALLEY!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In short, I'll be so dead, Death is not an option anymore if I don't buck up. So now, Ready Steady Go shall take leave. See u later!

MBSSKL Combined Boards Gathering.

2009-04-18T03:19:00.000-07:00

I really really wished I stayed for the games... It sounded SO FUN!! I met these wonderful guys in MBSKL! But well, technically they're NOT from MBS but.. I met them there la! Russel and Jenani! xD All of us were prefects and I was telling them about MGSKL's cleanliness and toilet system and the pouch things and they were like 'ohh... May be we should have that system too' LOL!

I also met Kok Wee and another Form 4 Representative (Dunno hu lai de) xD SOrry sorry if you're reading thi s ahahhaa forgot to see your name tag ahahaha XD

Me Divi Nikki and Zhi Wen reach MBS just in time before the this started and then the speech was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long....................... Contents were quite okay.. but the speeches were too long... Terrible I might say but anyways I had fun especially during the ice-breaking session. I never knew it was so hard to find a girl who plays football. XD No, seriously. Then after that were the performences.. The prefects one was cool!! Never thought the prefects had it in them ahahaha

There was this guy during the ice breaking session, I was looking for a person who drinks milk every morning then I asked around then Unknowingly I ask the person in front of me, then I looked up.. He was like.. 180cm tall.. 0.0 then I blurted out 'walao u so tall no need drink milk oso can xD' Then he looked at me and said (he was a prefect I dunno his name) Eh... you're from MGS right? I saw you last year, just can't remember when. Then I look at him.. then I can't recognise him at all (my memory's that bad people so save me.) xD But coz that time was so busy so we just went our way.

Then horh after the refresments, I was out there taking photos of the school building the suddenly I felt got this person stand nx to me. I tot going to pass by then I turn... I had a shock of my life. It was Kok Wee. I really jumped.. seriously.. Dunno y I was so jumpy and blur ahahaha XD Didn't realise beside me got ppl. Then we were both laughing then Russel and Jenani came and the F4 representative and I was like hi! Nice to meet you!

-Akward silence-

Then I say la.. walao what's with this akward silence? Then we all started laughing and chatting ahahahha and so the prefect thingy as usual and the MBS lencana was getting us all blur coz of the latin words xD Then we chatted so long until it was already 5pm.. I HAD to go.. haiz.. I really wished I had no add math class that day. :( I wanted to stay longer... sobs sobs sobs...

NVM I shall attend every prefect gathering! I mean.. it's like.. my last year.. and I've never really been to these things.. My last chance to do so... So.. yeah... ahahhaa... ya.

PICTURES!!! Bring it on. ;D

Add Math with Sunny Yee

2009-04-11T01:59:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, there was this add math workshop with Mr, Sunny Yee, the guy who wrote the book. It started at 8an and ended at 4.30pm... It was hell. Can you imagine so long? He covered almost the entire form 4 syllabus excluding some simple topics like simultaneus equations, triangle and the last chapter.

By the end of the day My head is like squeezed brain juice. So pain... thank god no tuition that day if not I sure K.O

Protesting against homework.

2009-04-06T00:19:00.000-07:00

I had to do my homework like a mad woman this week. Crazy siao... but it's my fault too cause I accumulate so much homework. =x= haix... Time to get to work. I'm done with komsas now I'ce got moral folio to complete... and bla bla bla...

I'll get to my complain about my teacher now. I'm going to vent out on this damn blog until I'm satisfied so warning of vulgar language, pissed of student and violent emotional outburst guyz.

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FUCK IT. GAH!!!! Talk about insane, today Pn. Goh actually took 5 period. 1 period=45mins and we had PHYSICS. Pn. Lim didn't come to school but she gave work for chem. But no~~ Pn. Goh STILL WANTED to take the class. and to top it off I have to give extra report on monday morning assembly about electricity. FUDGE.

International Understading Day woes

2009-04-05T05:30:00.000-07:00

I'm pissed and happy and tired. Yesterday, MGSKL had their IU day and I'm partially involved. I'm doing the powerpoint presentation. I mean, I'm not in interact, and suddenly I'm suppose to get the damn LCD and projector ready. I came slightly late so I can just plug in my lap top and go but UNFORTUNATELY this happened to me and I was running around half dizzy and everything was so fast. Damn it.

Here we have the peacock Jevithaa and a few girls were working on the day before. ;D Pretty isn't it? But sadly when IU day ended all that's left was the rice and NOT the picture. LOLZ And here we have Lai Cheong and Guo Jun.

Jasmine and Sajrina the MC's XD
I look pretty retarded lol... Jija tell me to pose, then I was like.. 'er... ok...' and there you go, PEACE!
One of the performences

A few days ago I went to methodist wesley's IU day. It was kind of sad actually... Not very satisfying to say. But I do have to congratulate them on their performences. IT ROCKED ASS! Jeremy was so hawt! He dance mexican! And his dance would put gay men to shame! (no offense gay guys. I love you too!) *swoons* There's only one guy who I can compare to Jeremy the dancer from WM which is the guy who dance in comic fiesta last year.

Zhi Wen showing off her dead cactus. *sigh* poor Cactus...

One of the Usheres for the seats I guess ahaha.. Their costumes rocked man!

Me and Saji posin' for the camera. I went according to theme for WMS, I tied my braided my hair into twin braids and I look like a retarded country girl. LOL!

Cross Country

2009-03-25T07:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my school had it's annual cross country...

and you know what?

It

RAINED.

Before we left, we saw the clouds were black... ok.. Technically it wasn't black but sort of greyish... and I would describe it as a greyish puffy pulp. It was freaking cold in the morning and my nose was acting up. Then we all lined up and left school to the Taman Tasik Perdana for our run la...

Then while walking halfway it started pouring. We were all drenched. All the girls looked like drownedRats.

So we all took shelter in this pondok near the road... Me Yit Yee Zhi wen, Linda and Stephanie was going nutters from the rain and boredoom. Then the heavy rain stopped and it was drizzling... then Ms.Low told us to walk to the Tapak A...

Apparantly there was no more postponing for cross country.
swt... They all want us to fall sick.

So we arrived at the starting area... and ran... and ran... and halfway while running... I got this sharp pain below my stomach... So I continue walking.. then I scared not enough time so I started jogging... and then... I got gastric.... and boy was it painful!

While almost reaching the finishing line.. I saw Pria in front of me. She sprinted at last minute.. and I was affected. So last burst of energy I sprinted and passed her. UNFORTUNATELY I ran into the wrong lane and so... I got one number behind her. (Dammit) That Jayanthi and her hand... point at wrong lane swt -_-|||

Then after getting my number I promptly collasped in front of Pn.Tin... my stomach of killing me... and I passed out at the St. John's area... out of pain fo a short while... (wow... I never felt worst swt...)

Then the next day... EVERYWHERE WAS ACHING. YEAH! I WAS ACHING LIKE MAD WOMAN TODAY. T^T

When you decide to do things...

2009-03-14T02:08:00.000-07:00

sometimes it just doesn't go as planned...

Yesterday was suppose to be merentas desa day, everyone was pumped up to go running and all... I wansn't really in particular about merentas desa coz I always hated running long distance. I just don't have the stamina to do so. I'm a freaking sprinter dammit! But then again, I'm not complaining. I wasn't feeling really well yesterday either. So I was quite thankful we weren't going to run.

What happened was that it rained. Yessshhhhh It rained. AND SO FREAKING LONG! It started about 7.30am and ended about 12pm.
Talk about long ahahahaha... So it ended up being put after the holidays on tuesday.

So hopefully I can build up some damn stamina by then.

Okay, chiaos for now coz dinner is calling.

I'll update soon

so byebye!

Sports Day woes...

2009-02-21T05:30:00.000-08:00

Sports day in MGSKL is on the 24th of Febuary 2009... Febuary... FEBUARY... FUCK IT! (Sorry for the language people.) Now... as dutiful form 5's this year, we must all ironize ourselves and get ready for 'the climax of the year' event (excluding PMR and SPM) Sports day this year seems to be so fast.. and we were all doing our banners and mascots and were all practically freaking out. Every. Single. One of us. Cool isn't it?

Lee House seems to be in the most troble. I mean, I was suppose to do the mascot and the banner, that I don't mind. So I joined the cheerleading squad, which in the end I HAD to quite due to the stress in the banner, board and mascot. It's Saturday night, after a gruesome week of exam and I'm wasting my time doing my mascot.

DAMMIT!! THE GOV HAS NO LIFE!!!!!! Or the school. Either one of them.

Goverment at fault: Making the SPM intervensi so damn early in the year.
School at fault: Sports day ON THE SAME WEEK AS THE DAMN INTERVENSI. DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so kind Zhi Wen slept over at my house to help out with the mascot and the 99% done banner. So far our mascot has the skeleton... But no skin. It's terrible.. We are gonna DIE!!! Why must I suffur like this... I hope someone appeciates the work all the people chipped in the banner and the mascot.

THANK YOU LEONG!!!

(I will die without you.) ><

And the now we're staring blankly at the ball of cloth, wondering what the hell we are suppose to do. LOL!!! So... I was thinking.. like.. sleeping now.. continue tomorrow at 6am.. yeah.. that's a good idea.

So an update of my blog as promised XD (I'm a lazy tard I KNOW!! XD)

BRING OUT THE PICTURES!!

If you're wondering what's that metal globe... That's our mascot skeleton. and Leong's posing in it. XD

And here, me, being pathetic again.. The red cloth that's SUPPOSE to be on the mascot.

What we are staring at right this moment. What next?

We gave up on the mascot for today so Leong went back to the banner to do some touch ups.. She was being emo... really stressful for both of us.

Then in the end she just went back to work. So hard working... Now she's taking her shower ! XDD

Comic Fiesta

2008-12-27T07:42:00.000-08:00

Comic Fiesta has came and gone once again!!!! This year I actually took part in the cosplaying though I didn't get to join the solo competitioin coz I was a

Yeah yeah.... ahahaha... nx year I gues... XD So I went to CF and I met A LOT of people from around the globe. Well, I met manda-chan from Deviantart and Hikaru also! It was fun and I bought a lot of stuffs. (Actually I wasted about 200 bucks there) There goes my allowance for the month. TT____TT the stuffs there were expensive like hell man... RM15.. RM10... Buy 10 things... RM100 bucks gone... oh... money.... sad... T___T

Oh well.

Nx story is picture story again!! My pictures of comic fiesta. Enjoy... ;D

I never knew Kon was into advertising.. XD At first from behind I thought I saw Hello Kitty but as I went to the front OMG IS THAT KON?!!

I was really proud of Leanne... I was her hair stylist. <3 WE HAD RAMEN FOR LUNCH IN SUNWAY PIRAMID!!!!

Oh yeah I went as Jin from Samurai Champloo. Thatm is POTAPON!! PON PON PON!!! a.k.a THE MOVING TARGET!!

Me and KON ;D

Yup! You guessed it. Doc OC and meh ;D

The solo competition orz.. I wish I had joined it >< But I wouldn;t win anyway XD

Australian Madness

2008-11-16T02:12:00.000-08:00

Oh Hey!! Me and Kay Lyn have arrived safely in Australia via Air Asia plane. (Seriously I tell you... I didn't sleep the whole day. Movies movies and MOVIES!!!!!) We reached around 3 am yesterday (pity my brother) who had to pick us up. But surprisingly both of us weren't really sleepy (since it was like only around 12 am in Malaysian time) So upon reaching Australia it was quite cold although it is the end of Spring and the beginning of Summer (though summer wouldn't be here until Another 2 weeks)

I took some pictures from the plane waiting area (I hate LCCT... Dammit.. It SUCKS. MAS Is still the best)

The waiting area... Our flight was delayed from 1.35pm till 3.25pm.. We had to wait like... so long... T_T

And here we have kay Lyn reading her book I think.. xD

--- thousand feet up in the sky.. Makes you feel like jumping down and landing on soft fluffy clouds eh?

and here.. the source of my distraction. DAMN YOU TV!!!! HAD TO PAY 30$ AND I WASTED MY PRECIOUS Sleep time to watch movies. I watched Matrix for the fourth time.. damn. the show's too good to be true.

It's about sunset now lolz Ain't the colours pretty?

OH! And I painted myh nails. ;D

Megan is sooo cute isn't she?? See the toy?

Frozen foot pretty much? Guess who's leg is this.;D

I'll update again tomorrow If there's more stuffs to write on xD